One of the reasons I enjoy Doctor Who so much is that it explores a level of friendship unusual by American standards. We live in an age where it’s ok not to know anyone who lives around you. It’s perfectly ok to cocoon with your spouse and ignore the rest of the world. It’s good to have a television show anywhere in the world that puts helping your friends above all else. It’s a new societal norm, and one that would be great if we could implement manana.
It’s hard to imagine it happening, however. We have taught each other to be afraid, and taught each other that if you have closeness with anyone other than your spouse, you have already cheated. It’s sad, because it murders one of the most beautiful things about life… instead of one person meeting all your needs, you know you have needs, so you have permission to go and get them met from others. The twisting of that phrase into a sex joke has caused the idea to unrecognizably decay. But here’s what I mean.
Dana could go her entire life without learning how to play Fallout 3, and she would be fine. But I really like playing Fallout 3, so it’s up to me to find friends who also enjoy it. Dana knows I can be trusted for hours at a time that when I say I’m playing Fallout 3, that’s really what I’m doing. The trust goes both ways. In order to make my spouse feel safe about me disappearing with other people, she has to be in on the plan.
But at no time, not now, not a little while from now, not ever, am I likely to hear “can I join your Fallout 3 team?”
Dana and I both care very much for our companions, people we see as an extension to our family that help us make it so… because when we are off with our companions, having fun, we have an opportunity for new conversation, new enlightenment, and not the stifling energy of a meeting of the minds where the sync has already happened for the last five days every five minutes ad nauseum.
I only hesitate to use the word “friend” because it doesn’t mean enough. The Doctor is routinely in situations that threaten the lives of them all. What would happen if Rory decided to choose only his wife, and not everyone else? No. Friends count just as much, which is why so many people are missing out on deep relationships with a multitude of people. They decide that they only have the capacity to love one person at a time.
Stories That Are All True 