I’m in such a funny mood that I thought I’d keep going. There was just no way to keep going on the first episode because the punch line on the last joke was so fantastic that I needed to end it there.
(enter stream of conscience)
I’m still in a great mood, the thing a comic writer needs. It doesn’t matter how painful their lives are, it takes a good mood to bring out the need to laugh at it.
People keep writing to you that that your writing has a lot of pain in it.
Writing about pain makes me remember how I felt in the moment, so when I go back to analyze it, psychoanalysis brings out the funny. You separate them in your mind?
Yes. Those are different posts.
Do you have a favorite?
Probably death and loss. I’ve gotten a lot of great feedback.
I know. It’s more than we’ve ever dreamed together. Why didn’t we start sooner?
We had to grow the proverbial balls to “go big or go home.”
You mean hurting people you love?
Of course. It’s transparent that way. People see right through you when your heart is on your sleeve, but sometimes a true apology is hard won. You lose some, you keep some, and the ones you keep are the ones that inspire you.
Speaking of which, bloggers that you love. Go!
My hero, mentor and muse… even though we’ve never met. I just feel like I know her because I’ve been reading her every week for almost the entire run.
The funniest woman to bitch slap Texas culture since Molly Ivins. I’m reading her current book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, on my Kindle.
Mrs. Kennedy is one of the best parts of my day. She’s hilarious, and I’ve loved her for a long time. I’ve watched her kid grow up, her hair grow out, and her soul ignite on the page. A do-not miss.
What, are we interviewing each other right now?
Sort of.
James Lipton: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear as you walk through the pearly gates?
First of all, traditionally God isn’t at the gate. That’s St. Peter.
Oh, for the love of Pete.
Who is Pete, anyway?
Dad and Angela see a lot of themselves when you show them how your mind works.
Sure they do. I have the McLanemy standard response system encoded in my neurons. They fire before I have a chance to come up with something new. Besides, don’t we McLanemys have a motto: “if it’s funny once, it’s funny a million times really close together. You should tell the Indian brothers story.
Who? Aziz & Diziz?
Set it up.
I don’t remember where my dad and Angela were going (I think it might have been a car dealership). Anyway, the guy they worked with, Aziz, said “I know dis shit like the back of my head.”
This has led to a family monologue that any family member can recite it in their sleep.
I told you to set it up. You just told it.
That’s because I don’t remember it.
You jackass. You’re sure you’re not a stoner?
I think if I were a stoner, you would know.
Because pot and writing don’t mix?
No, it takes my senses to a level that I can’t connect to my body anymore. Can’t feel my reactions naturally. Can’t live my life in an alternate reality. Can’t afford it, anyway. Too straight laced to wake and bake. Because, you know “it is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day.” Get over it, parental units. The West Coast is crawling with it and I’ve been living here for off and on for forever. You cannot live on the West Coast and not just accept that weed is a part of life here. Otherwise, you will live in a state of panic as your entire block is turned into medical marijuana dispensaries. The state of California looks like one big mary jane mall.
But you stay relatively sober. Why?
Because there’s nothing that means more to me than telling my truth, and I don’t trust anything that alters my judgment in a more-than-occasional way. The further I’ve come with my writing, the more my complete and informed decision is necessary.
Do you feel the same way about drinking?
No. But I drink for flavors and textures. I’m very serious about it- spirits, beer and wine are part of not only my palate, but the customer’s palate when I’ve worked in restaurants.
Have you ever been a big drinker?
In my twenties, I drank to forget with everyone else at the bars after work. But not only do I physically recoil at the thought of being hung over, if that weren’t enough to change my mind, the soul-crushing thought of the hours I’d have to put in on the porcelain god just isn’t worth it.
Can Dodger roll and smoke his own doobies?
Stop stealing from SNL, jackass… but… yes.
I didn’t steal. People will know it was a quote.
AP Style Mothafucka! Didn’t Mrs. Steed teach you anything?
Yes. My first girlfriend was in that class. So it taught me to (weimariners reference) dream big.
She was pretty.
I suppose that’s it, huh?
I’ve never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Before you say anything, MARK TWAIN FTW!
Stories That Are All True 