(enter stream of conscience)
A long, long time ago…
This is what we’re doing? This? Right now?
You’re a hack.
You’re a wanker.
Let’s move on.
Agreed.
Star Wars is a good movie, though.
YES. Thank you, Leslie. There’s probably a hundred people on earth that disagree with you. What earth-shattering revelations do you have for us today?
You’re fat. Come to think of it, you need a dye job, too.
I deserved that, didn’t I?
Yes, because that was a dick move.
Dick move, guys. Dick move.
What’s that from?
I don’t remember. It’s just a think we do with Volfe?
Yes, we’re pack. We have a language just like the McLanemys (editor’s note: my dad, my stepmom, and all blended sisters. Hey, wait… new band name).
Why do you think that?
Why don’t you? We have standard responses to everything known to God and man. Knowledge is power, and knowing is half the battle. Hail Cobra. 70-inch plasma screen TV… with Netflix. Kevin Got Bored.™ I’m tweeting this.
Describing our family is so weird.
Are you off on a tangent again?
No, I’m talking about our sitcom. Who we’d pick to star in our own Friends episode. The friends that sustain us when we’ve forgotten to take care of ourselves, keep us honest emotionally. You’d take a bullet for them every time you hear the gun fire, but they’re not related to you. Society does not know how to interpret deep friendship anymore because all of the words used to describe it have long been associated with homosexuality. However, my pack has both men and women, small in number but fiercely close. So close that I proudly wear my pack’s number, painted with a stencil on the back of my truck. We’re nerds, so the pack number is 42. My bumper number is 11. If you know the first thing about science fiction, you’ll get those references.
Alex, I’ll take “Famous Science Fiction References” for $2,000.
“How many actors have played The Doctor before Matt Smith?”
“What is 10?”
Correct!
“$1600”
“In Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams, the computer spends years calculating the answer to life, the universe, and everything into what number?”
“42”
Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t phrase your answer in the form of a question.
This is a stupid game.
So, tomorrow then?
Stories That Are All True 