Occasionally, I like to have what I’ve long called a “pink drink” for breakfast. It is not the Starbucks monstrosity but a simple raspberry flavoring in coffee- which at Starbucks turned your whole drink a bright rose and they didn’t call it a pink drink back then?
No one asked me. Anyway, I got a Dunkin raspberry macchiato and though I would not buy it again, I don’t think, it did remind me very much of Starbucks in the 1990s.
Starbucks in the 1990s mostly consisted of me and my girlfriend sitting out front while I tried not to look at her because “we weren’t together.” Please. People had eyes. But it wasn’t my choice, really. I could either pretend we weren’t together or I couldn’t have her.
It was not a good relationship, but I pretended that it was for a really long time. Then, out of nowhere she just ghosted me. It was painful at the time, but I just keep out of her way. Apparently, she does not want me in her life, because if she did it would only take a quick Google search to find me on social media.
I am of the opinion that if she wants the past to stay past, then I’m good.
This morning I had to get out and drive. I needed coffee, but I also needed time to think and really feel my emotions. I turned the music up on a playlist I created for Aada 12 years ago, listening to “our songs” and letting go of the idea that there’s anything I can do to make things right between us again. I do get hits from her location, and think of it like a twinkling star. Ones and zeroes winking at me.
It was during “Praying for Daylight” by Rascal Flatts that I really started to cry, because reality hit me in the face.
I’m losing my first big time fan because of my blog. Things have come full circle, because I would rather it be the other way around.
Stories That Are All True 