I have a lot of clothes, but really only two outfits. In the summer, I wear jeans and a t-shirt with a hoodie in my backpack for those buildings where the air conditioning is turned down to “Ice Capades.” In the winter, I add leggings and a thermal shirt because my hoodie is often warm enough without a coat if I have on layers. If I were forced to wear an outfit all day, every day, it would fall under those guidelines.

I am just very particular.

American Giant hoodie

Bombas socks

Uniqlo HeatTech long underwear (and if it’s really cold, Merino wool or Reebok synthetics under that, because your base layer must be waterproof. Cotton is not.)

Uniqlo midweight HeatTech shirt

They’re so comfortable I miss them in the summer. I don’t do well in heat, and wish I lived in Finland. I am still holding out for going to school there next year, because I’m stuck in a lease until the end of November. It just depends on what kind of financial position I’m in, because school itself is free, but living in Europe is not.

Plus, there’s the added complication of getting my family and friends to visit me or vice versa. I have recently learned that planes go both ways. 😉 Of all my friends, Bryn ( @one4paws ) is the most likely to be comfortable because she lives in the Pacific Northwest. Our summers would be drastically similar. Winter is where it differs, but I believe we’d have a blast looking at the northern lights and going to see Santa. The woman is not afraid of a parka, and neither am I. We are also a united front when it comes to animal skins. There is nothing wrong with using what has worked in that climate for thousands of years. But try synthetic first.

My current favorite synthetic is a pair of lined waterproof pants for playing in the snow, and my favorite organic is lined wool trousers on the few days a year I have to play dress-up. Both would come in handy in the wilds of Finland…. but not nearly as much as my extensive collection of hoodies (bunny hugs). My favorite says, “Baltimore…. there’s more than murder here.” It has a rainbow and the fonts are choice. It’s my favorite gift I’ve ever gotten from my sister except for the apron that said, “be nice to me or I’ll poison your food.”

Baltimore is so quirky that I choose that sweatshirt as my ghost outfit. I believe Edgar Allen Poe would laugh.

One of the reasons I wear it constantly is that I dream of running into John Waters while I’m wearing it. You never know who you’re going to meet just walking around. I got to meet David Sedaris in a coffee shop in Frederick, so meeting my favorite writers is not impossible.

I also tend to wear sweatshirts year round because I don’t like the sensory experience of the wind on my skin. I will take them off if it gets too hot, but it has to be extraordinarily still outside for me to feel comfortable. I have one very lightweight hoodie that accomplishes this- a full zip waffle weave that isn’t really to keep me warm. It just keeps the goosebumps away.

All of my clothing issues are tied to autism, because once I figured out that I was more neurodivergent than advertised (I was diagnosed with ADHD in college), I started paying attention to them.

The reason autistic adults call it “unmasking” is that we were often pushed into ignoring our discomfort to please others, or told that our sensory issues just aren’t that bad and to get over them. Now that I am in control, I try to buy the best clothes I can afford when I have to buy new, or I spend hours at Goodwill searching through crap to find gold. It’s out there, like Burberry, Brooks Brothers, and London Fog. I am still searching for Thomas Pink. It will be my coup when I find it.

And in fact, I would rather find those things at Goodwill because they feel better when they’ve already been laundered a thousand times before they get to you. Fine clothing outlasts fast fashion by a mile, and I will always gravitate towards it.

I have also somewhat given up on jeans. I have one pair, but I prefer an elastic waistband and tailored cuffs (I rarely tuck in my shirts, so the waist doesn’t matter). These pants from ParisDiary are my go-to and I have them in tan, brown, and dark red. They look great with any outfit and the material is extremely comfortable. They say that they are joggers, and this is true. I’ve worn them in the gym, but they seem too fancy for it. I think they are meant for traveling. I wouldn’t wear anything else on an airplane. And, of course, because of the brand I would like to go back to Paris just to walk around in them……………….. with my diary.

They are also the perfect pants to wear in the winter because with the elastic waistband, they expand to accommodate my layers. I would much rather wear leggings under joggers than stuff myself into trousers. I am also not immune to a good pair of cargo pants…. alarmingly out of fashion in today’s world but too comfortable for me to ignore. I love Dickies when I can find the right size, particularly at Goodwill because again, they’re more comfortable after they’ve been worn in and laundered.

For shoes, I vacillate between Converse, New Balance, and Crocs.

Crocs are always on my list because even though some people would say they’re ugly, they’re the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever owned and I do not buy the classic style with holes. Mine are the ones that you would wear in a professional kitchen or hospital, and look more like Dansko clogs than shoes for little kids.

Speaking of Dansko, I wear Crocs instead because they do not have a heel. I have worn Danskos in the kitchen before and I have fallen off of them. That’s too dangerous when everything is either hot, sharp, or both.

I don’t work in a kitchen anymore, but my love of Crocs is undying. They make me feel safe, and that’s the point of all my clothing. I have cerebral palsy, and wearing constrictive clothing makes my movement even more stilted than it already is. There’s no way for me to mitigate every time I fall (balance is my biggest issue), but comfortable clothes and shoes help. Plus, Crocs have the added bonus of cooks actually wanting to talk to me because they know I’m already in their tribe.

One of my favorite trips on the bus was when my seatmate and I were comparing kitchen shoes. I asked him where he worked, and it was my favorite restaurant, Zaytinya. We chatted away in Spanish (I’m not fluent, but I try hard) as I asked him questions “talking shop.”

I guess that’s my complete outfit. You know, if I was “forced.”