The best excuse people think they have with me is “nothing is ever good enough for you.” It is a shorthand for “I am tired of hearing you voice needs.” It shows that they do not care about making things right with you, they want to focus on making things over. It is not working through something, it is simple harm reduction and no real repair.
I am not “demanding,” I have different communication needs. People often go off on tangents I never asked them to go on and then resent that I did not meet their expectations in gratitude. It is a problem when I point out that their effort is welcome, it is just several miles in the wrong direction.
People do not want to be told what to do, ever, and it is hard making things right after you have erred. But to give up early on repair and call the other person demanding is a slick way of avoiding accountability.
Repair isn’t about effort. It’s about humility — the willingness to hear what actually needs fixing instead of insisting your first attempt should be enough.
Stories That Are All True 