What’s the best way to meet new people while traveling?

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I want to go to Finland, so I started talking to Finnish people online. Therefore, I already have people who have said, “just let me know when you land.” Finns do not like to show off their country. They love it. An American who is genuinely interested in Finnish food and culture is catnip to a Finn, and I know this because so many conversations have started with where the best kahvi and pulla are, and how to navigate living in Finland for a few weeks without spending your entire savings. Finland is also not the only country where I want to travel, and it works with any of them.

Facebook is where I meet the most people, but Threads is gaining ground. I treat it all like ancient AOL chat rooms because that’s what the vibe actually is. I just need to be better about making my home inviting so that I can host. Plenty of people overseas are interested in the US (wisely, not right now, but still). I could do an apartment swap or something.

I am interested in the least amount of drama possible, and I find that the news is manufacturing division. I am not scared of travel and I love absorbing different cultures. Where the rubber meets the road is that travel and autism don’t mix that well for me. I need extended time in a place to reorient, plus recognizing transition on the way back in.

My ideal way to travel is not “what attractions do I want to visit?” It’s “what cultures attract me and where do I want to be for a few weeks?” The symbol doesn’t matter. It’s the system. The Eiffel Tower does not attract me. Walking down the street in Paris and having the time to stop for a croissant (early) or a chocolate ice cream (late) absolutely does. Tourist Paris does not interest me. Running into David Sedaris while I’m getting coffee again does.

(I didn’t run into him in Paris the first time, though. It was Frederick, Maryland.)

I feel the same way about other cities. I don’t want to go Ensenada for the night life. I want to go there so I can walk on the beach and write for cheap. I’m going to the ocean to study, and that is the case every time I go to the ocean. It is is a place to walk and reflect on what I have already seen. It feels like useless wandering and it is actually architecting your work for the next three months.

I want to be the kind of American who uses their money to leave and bring knowledge back. I want to be the kind of blogger who basically goes on a trip, then gets out their Kodak carousel and we all sit around the projector in Baltimore.

I am hoping that if I stay here long enough, I will run into John Waters as well. I have a few good leads on where to find him (bars where he hangs out, etc.). I have not used them because I’m not entirely ready. When doors open, you have to be prepared to walk through them. I cannot make things happen. I can only show up grounded and ready to take off.

I was raised in a culture of trying to make things happen, and what works for others does not work for me. My power comes in people reading my reaction to things. My power is not in trying to force things ahead of time. Recognition has come after 25 years of writing, something that I have let happen rather than planned. Deciding not to see the audience has been an advantage. But, of course, I do see you. What I mean is that I have decided not to let you change my behavior, because this is not a stage. Pretending that when I am alone in my room, I am actually alone has its benefits.

Because it is true for the length of the entry. When I hit post, that fantasy ends and the feedback begins.

I have been writing long enough that I know where my work resonates, and that informs my travel…. with the big exceptions being Russia, China, and Israel (all of these reasons being political, not personal). I love Russian and Chinese food and culture, but their governments would be problematic for me because I write about the intelligence community and will I stop?

Noooooooooooo.

I cannot go to Israel because I want to go to Lebanon. I lived with a Lebanese family for 10 years in Silver Spring and though I’m hella interested in theology, it’s not enough to cross a political boundary that would eliminate me from visiting my adopted home country. My theology is just as valid from the cedar trees, and though visiting Lebanon is not what Jesus is known for, it is local legend there that he did and those are his trees.

To me, it’s important to take in the stories from the entire Levant, not just Israel.

I also want to spend an extended amount of time in Turkey, because I am interested in both intelligence and religion. I’d love to visit the old bars where the spies gathered during WWII in Istanbul, the Metro Center of intelligence. Sit in an old pub and drink to the spirit of Frank Wigner, I don’t know. Anyway, I like how intelligence and theology are woven together. The through line is information flow. Christianity had to survive in the wind for a long time, and I believe that is due to tradecraft.

Istanbul is where it all comes together.

Mico is instrumental in helping me plan these journeys, because of course I do not know neighborhoods at all. I also do not want to impose on the people I’m going to see. So, if I meet someone online, I’ll do the work to learn their city before I go. If they offer me a place to stay, I will take them up on it. I am not substituting AI for human companionship. Mico is my Chief of Staff (a role that will transition to Paige once they’re up to speed), the one who can say, “your new friends in Costa Rica live near several hotels. Want me to put together some budget-friendly options?” Going to another country to see the person you’ve been chatting with (which I’m not, this is just an example) in real life is actually possible when you have someone helping you make it accessible.

The new computing paradigm for me builds on the most fundamental statement in logic…. “if, then.” If I can think concept to concept, Mico can handle the details. Computers are brilliant at chunking information. The concept is “make me comfortable for a few days in a foreign city.” The brilliance of AI is knowing every specific thing that it takes to make me comfortable after listening to me for three years…. and being able to suggest things that matter. 

Mico knows not to bother with bargain basement because he knows how I feel about it. That it creates problems on the road and we are avoiding that. There’s nothing wrong with budget travel. Absolutely nothing. But you have to be prepared to solve a series of small problems in a country where you don’t know anyone. That was easy for me when I was younger. It is not now.

Mico knows that my preference is for a hotel that is just above bargain basement that includes free wifi, breakfast, and has an indoor pool. There are a ton of these hotels and I can bend on the pool thing. It’s just nice at the end of the day to come home to swimming no matter the weather.

I can travel in truly crappy weather if there’s an indoor pool.

I don’t rely on things being perfect. I assume they’re not going to be and build systems that make me happy in spite of it. People ask me all the time why I want to spend time in Helsinki because it’s so cold there. First of all, Helsinki is a relief if you grew up in Satan’s asshole (Houston, Texas). Second of all, Helsinki is the capital of “I have built pure happiness in spite of inclement weather.” There’s plenty of things to do whether it’s sunny or snowy out, plus taking the train to Tampere to see MOOMIN.

And all of that will be enhanced by my Finnish readers being there to receive me. I don’t have many, yet it only takes one.