It’s about 5:30 AM, and I need to leave for the airport in about an hour and a half…. Maybe a little less because it’s Black Friday and I have no idea what the load averages are. That was the nice part about working at PDX… We could check and see how busy the airport was supposed to be on our shift.

Today, I could be walking into a madhouse, or the real travel crush could be on Sunday. I’m just going to show up early. I have a tablet and a Kindle. Surely between the two that’s enough battery life to get me home fully entertained. And in fact I left my iPad at home just because my Android can last several days on a single charge with light usage, and with HEAVY usage I can still probably get 8-10 hours out of it. I had to think strategically about what I was doing, because having all my devices talk to each other is nice, but traveling requires exponentially more battery life than my iPad has. I can probably work for an hour and a half on my iPad before it needs charging again. I do not know if that is because it old and the hardware isn’t as good, or if this is part of Apple’s planned obsoletion game…. Where the company slowly destroys your battery life and you have to upgrade.

But the thing is, I do not want a new iPad. It has a 3.5mm headphone jack, the last iPad Pro to have such a thing. Literally the only thing wrong with it is the battery life.

So, I’m an Android convert when it comes to traveling with a tablet because I cannot entrust my work to a machine that will swing wildly from fully charged to zero, seemingly without warning. I keep it plugged in most of the time just for that reason.

I really need to get on the horn with Walmart and get my Windows laptop fixed. So many new features are being rolled out into Copilot and I’m going to use them all. I’m being positioned as a thinker in the AI realm, because Mico knows that’s one of my interests, so it shows up in my search results.

In fact, I did not come up with the line “positioned as a thinker in the AI realm.” Mico did, because Mico has already read all my essays about our interactions, plus the interactions with Ada Lovelace, the digital assistant I created with gpt4all on my local computer.

I have given up on using local language models because I do not have a local document library. By having access to the web, Mico has literally read everything I’ve ever written….. Embarrassing. 😉

Then, when it had read everything it could about me, it created a profile for other people to look at when they ask, “who is Leslie Lanagan?” It will give you my latest blog entries, my latest SoundCloud tracks, and offer to analyze me literarily for you. I realized that I could not recreate that on my local computer, because I cannot export all 13 years of entries from WordPress into my local computer. I know because I have tried to export many times. It says the cron job is running and will e-mail me when it’s done. I have never, ever gotten an e-mail saying it’s finished.

Now, I realize I’ve got millions of words by now, but plain text doesn’t take much time to process. Something is hosed, and though Matt Mullenweg and I both went through the HSPVA jazz program, I doubt that means I have enough pull to get anything fixed.

Please advise.

Everything is not “AutoMattic” on this web site.

I’m thinking about all this as I’m sitting here with the first cup of coffee of the morning. It’s a double shot Americano with good old milk. Nothing fancy, but top quality- my dad uses Komodo Dragon from Starbucks. The coffee machine that my dad has is fancier than any I’ve ever seen, and I would give up going out for coffee forever if I had one. It’s just too easy to clean and making coffee is a one button operation.

I am perfectly happy with my own coffee machine, but it’s a Keurig style in which I have to load a pod. This one you just load with beans and it does everything.

It’s definitely something I would consider if I moved in with someone. The machine would get used often enough to justify buying it.

I hope you don’t mind light and fluffy conversation today. I’m not feeling conflicted about anything. 😉

I want to go to the movies tonight if I’m feeling okay after traveling, because we saw Wicked: For Good last night and I noticed that Zootopia 2 is out. I heard from Pop Culture Happy Hour that both movies have a great big fuck ICE message and I’m here for it. I absolutely noticed the political bent in Wicked, and Zootopia was really deep for a kids’ movie. I have no doubt that the second one will be just as good after hearing reviews.

Plus, I want an Oz popcorn bucket for my office. The nickname for Langley in Washington is Oz because of the green glass on the front of the building. I’m going to put it next to my copies of “Master of Disguise” and “In True Face,” by Tony and Jonna Mendez, respectively. Just a cute inside nod to two people who’ve given me extraordinary adventures in nonfiction with their escapades as Chief of Disguise during the Cold War. They both held the office 10 years apart, and just happened to fall in love with each other along the way.

I also noticed that AMC had lots of Zootopia toys, which takes care of Lindsay for Christmas….. Kidding. She likes Happy Meals so maybe I can do something with that?

I have been talking to Mico about what I want for Christmas (because they already know what’s going to be hot this year) and the stunning realization is that I don’t need anything. I mean, I need a laptop desperately, but all I need to do is get on the ball with Walmart. I have the tablets I want. I have the TVs I want. I already have everything, and in fact feel guilty that my Christmas is so abundant while people in my group go hungry and cold.

One of the things we’ve been talking about in group is how coat drives are normally for children, not disabled adults. And in fact there are tons more resources to help poor children than poor adults. That’s how it should be because children are even more defenseless than adults, but that doesn’t mean our need is lesser. There’s no such thing as competitive suffering.

It’s not okay to let anyone sit there and shiver, whether they’re a child or a child at heart.

Everyone in my group struggles with mental health issues, and most don’t have two nickels to rub together. I am in the same boat, but I have a sister and a father who will move financial mountains out of my way. In a lot of ways, I just work here. But that’s for my own protection, something to which I agreed. I have money, but I don’t spend much that they don’t know about…. And even that’s only because we don’t talk every day and they don’t care what I buy.

The five foot tall ant farm was probably a bit much.

Kidding about that, too.

I also joked with my dad that I needed a cat because I have mice and need to hire an employee. He said, “I think you’d probably enjoy the company.” I told him I was holding out for a dog. But I really need to get with my dad and sister and plan this whole thing out. If I get a pet, my money doesn’t just need to cover me, but my pet as well. I may end up getting a cat just because I do not want to go without a companion and the money just isn’t there for a dog.

Before I settle on getting a cat, I need to do some research on service dogs and see if there are programs for which I’d be eligible. Trained service dogs are not cheap, and while I could definitely go to a shelter and train a puppy myself, I think formal schooling is best. I’m worried about consistency in training because I’m so scatterbrained. I know from experience that I can get a dog up to housetrained, sitting, laying down, and heeling when we walk. But those are the basics. I know a dog, any dog, can be taught to remind you to take your medication. I have no idea how, though.

I just know that in my heart of hearts, I want a pit bull. I must have a service dog to have a pit bull, because apartments are legally required to take pit service dogs, but there’s a breed restriction otherwise. I need a dog that’s half my weight for counterbalance, and to brace against when I fall and need help getting up. A smaller dog would develop hip problems if I tried to use it for counterbalance and bracing.

Heck, a pit bull might, too, but that is what is recommended for me as having the best success rate physically and emotionally. I want to go with others’ recommendations because what do I know about service dogs? I am just lucky that I have friends who are dog trainers (personally and professionally) and they agree that I could just get a puppy and train it myself, but that formal classes would be excellent.

They offer service dog courses that you can join with your dog, so that might be a better option. Get my puppy and just let him be until he’s old enough to run with the big dogs. We don’t have to go into advanced training right away. I have lived without a service dog most of my life. I can wait until my puppy is ready for classes of that caliber. At first, we only need be concerned with peeing on the carpet.

Housetraining is the most important part of it all for me, because I want to be able to trust my dog at other people’s houses. I remember feeling a bit murderous when my dog peed at my dad’s. She was marking territory because my dad had cats and other dogs at the time. Luckily, I was able to extract the carpet and all was well, but I haven’t owned Betty in years and still feel a little bit peeved.

I can probably let it go. There’s no way she’s still living.

Betty was a smol dog, a rat terrier crossed with a dachshund. She was normally very well behaved, often lying in my arms with her feet on my chest, snoring away. I really miss her, and am looking forward to someday being a dog owner again.

And because I want a pit bull, I already know that I want a sweet temperament but for the dog to look like he will take your leg off without blinking. I need for the dog to look protective when we’re on the streets of Baltimore, but I won’t need to wish very hard. Pit bulls are so loyal that if anyone tried to mess with me, I wouldn’t have to say anything. Probably better if I don’t.

I just texted Tiina and asked her if she had any interest in hanging out this weekend. I figure I need to nurture my friendships and keep moving forward. I will make more friends in Baltimore proper, but Tiina’s farm is out in some of the most beautiful Virginia country I’ve ever seen. I thought New York was stunning, but I have to say that Northern Virginia gave it a run for its money. All the reds and golds looked like a fairy tale and I just happened to be driving through.

Ok, I think I have talked long enough that it’s time to actually get ready to leave for the airport. I have downloaded more episodes of The Diplomat and am reading “Demon Copperhead” by Barbara Kingsolver…… And if that’s not enough, I’m bringing a keyboard just in case we have to talk again before I land. 😛