My habit is to wake up in the morning and get on Duolingo immediately. I’m on a 99-day streak and doing well… although I’m really hard on myself when I miss a question. I hate when I see red in either Spanish or Finnish. But my love of learning them comes from two very different places.

I am originally from Texas, where I was surrounded by so many Latinx friends I struggled to understand. I chose Spanish as my second language in 10th grade to try and bridge the gap. The summer that school year ended, my father was transferred to a church in Sugar Land, Texas, which offered mission trips to Reynosa. It was then that I got my first taste of immersion, because even though I wasn’t an expert, I knew more Spanish than just about everyone else.

There was one other person who was relatively fluent, but he and I did not spend much time together. Therefore, I was the one that acted as translator for most of the other adults. It’s how I was chosen to preach the Sunday sermon for Vacation Bible School, though I didn’t know how to say much. That changed the more I visited, because I went to Reynosa during every break I was taking Spanish in class. The last trip was the most fun because my favorite phrase didn’t have to be “speak slower, please….” although I am now back to it because I’d forgotten just how fast Spanish speakers talk.

Luckily, Duolingo has a button to slow down playback or I would not have made it this far. I am also somewhat impressed with the AI, because I do not believe it should be used to create the lessons themselves, but it is helpful that by speaking into my microphone someone is listening to my pronunciation and will not pass me to the next level until it is correct.

Because being in Mexico was so much more beneficial than learning in class (and I assume, Duolingo), I hope to make it back sometime soon. Reynosa has changed drastically since the last time I was there, and though no one would remember me it feels somewhat like “going home for the weekend.” Ensenada would feel the same way, because I got to spend a week there in my younger years and still think about living there when I need to escape reality.

My journey with Finnish is a bit more roundabout.

I was emotionally abused as a kid by someone with a birthday complex. The house couldn’t be decorated for Christmas until her birthday was over, she claimed the entire month of December as her birthday, etc. So, when I realized that this friend couldn’t be in my life any longer, I wondered what I would do to celebrate that day instead- to make it feel like there was less of a hole in my heart. I got on the Google machine and looked up what other holidays were on that date, and Finnish Independence Day was available. I go nuts for it as a result, which is ridiculous because I didn’t have any Finnish family or friends at the time.

I still don’t, but that’s another story for another day.

Duolingo’s language capability is not as good in Finnish as it is in Spanish, but I stick with it even though there’s no AI for pronunciation. I find that being able to read in Finnish is impressive enough. I’m further ahead in my Spanish studies than Finnish, but I flip between the two often. They’re so different that you cannot mix them up. And in fact, the Finnish language is so hard to learn that even fluent speakers will commiserate with you.

One of the most exciting days I’ve had in recent memory was when I was having coffee with my friend Tiina. She put her mother on the phone for me and we spoke in Finnish for a few minutes. I’m sure I didn’t say anything earth shattering or clever, but it meant a lot to me to be understood in that language.

I don’t feel that type of excitement when speaking Spanish because it’s been a part of my life since I was a child, as native to me as English because Houston is full of Spanish-speakers. I have gotten to practice my Spanish hundreds of times with many different people.

I have spoken Finnish once.

I am sure that there are a lot of Finnish people that would say “once is enough” after they hear me.

But the title in both languages is “I Love to Learn.” That will never go away, so perhaps sticking with both is the answer. I am much more likely to run into a Spanish speaker in the US, but who knows where my travels will take me? I know I want to go to Helsinki because my heart bleeds “sinivalkoinen,” the blue of Finnish skies and the white of their snow.

I think that I would be just as at home there as I felt in Mexico because of this one joke:

How can you pick out the most extroverted Finn?
It’s the one who will look at your shoes when you talk to them.

So maybe I don’t have any Finnish blood, but I certainly have a Finnish personality at times. It’s a place to escape when the fiesta gets too loud.