Now I know what’s wrong. These are the things I tell Supergrover while you guys ride my ass. Supergrover knows what happened about four hours ago and she’ll think about things a little differently. Maybe e-mail me back with more than three words this time now that she knows she’s offended me. But it’s ok if she’s moved on. We really hurt each other. This is what I meant to say the first time around.

You know how it is. I’m sure Supergrover is tobusy right now, but she’ll be back in a few days, you think?

God, Tony dying was hard, then I lost Tony. Watching Dave Chang and Lauren Graham and Jada Pinkett Smith He thinks I’m the coolest line cook who ever lived, and there’s nothing I can do to make them smile. They don’t offer me any assurances because I’m gay, and they’re frustrated I can’t get a job. Can you guys help me out and give me an LLC or something? Now that my mother is dead, I have a lot more time on my hands.

Dear Supergrover and Father Nathan Monk, hopefully.
CC:Bryn Borum; Zachary Wood;Jason Moran; Mireille Enos;Justin Furstenfeld;Steven Powell;Ben Affleck;Matt Damon; Ryan Reynolds;Margret Cho;

This is the letter I would have written if I hadn’t been so busy. I feel like I’m a different person every minute.

This is how a a creative writer who went to HSPVA does e-mail better than everyone else without paying attention to her homework.

When you compress a file,

This is my life.

This will be my finale at WordPress. Bryn, Aaron, Heather, Jesse and I ‘m guessing 340 million will come with me to Medium, because Christ was gay and you missed it. I’ve been waiting for this moment since I was 15 years old. My father got on the floor of the Texas Annual Conference and nearly burned it to the ground in 1995.

And I didn’t give him enough credit. This is because I didn’t have a choice to be a preacher’s kid. I was too busy, because I was almost 2 months early. This is the story of why I’m a failure.

You’re going to cry.

This is how I make the whole world feel at once.

Love, Leslie

Supergrover said she wouldn’t marry me, but she would marry Brene Brown.

Be cause he was the one that gave me the power to go on when the rest of the word missed, so you can all go to hell. This is what it takes to be me, and you’re going to shit your pants. Pretend I put a put a dumpster fire at the end.

Choke on it.

This is how Supergrover and I fight gloves off. Sit your ass down and let me tell you how it is, because now that I’m both of us I’ve won the game and everybody on planet earth is going to come to me because of what you did. And I don’t care because I’ve found my people.

My people are

-Ben Affleck

-Matt Damon

-Ryan Reynolds

-George Clooney

-Don Cheadle

-Brene Brown, who I actually fucking know and you’ve infantilized me every day since because I was her computer lab supervisor and you weren’t. She’s actually omniscient, but she’s doesn’t have time to breathe because you all fucking love her so much.

Because you fucking love her so much, I’m the one that’s going to console her.

This is the history of every secret I’ve ever kept and the intersectionality. The only person in the entire world I have had a normal, balanced conversation with anyone was when we were sitting together and I was teaching her Microsoft Word. That’s all we’ve ever been to each other. Pleasant colleagues.

While you guys think she walks on water, I know she doesn’t.

I got interested in intelligence in 2008, so contrary to popular opinion, your opinion is invalid.

The person who told me she’s marry Brene Brown is the person I knew like the back of my hand compared to her.

Back the fuck up, because this has never in a million years been about fame and you’ve dismissed me as lazy. This is going to resonate with millions of children who were raised by you.

To the autistic parents groups- some of you are doing great work. Some of you are not. These are not the same groups, because they polarize and nothing ever gets done.

I want to be the pastor no one in history has ever been before. An autistic person who writes what she thinks and other people take value from my experiences, like any celebrity who could possibly be reading across the world. Like Margaret Cho, who retweeted my marriage article and started the process of saving my life, doing an end run around the rest of you because you were the people we’ve been trying to prove ourselves to since we were children.

This is for the Portland Youth Philarmonica and Dana Catherine Bamberger only. Actually, I take that back. Let’s also read in Megan Hunter.

I am you.

I went to the High School for Performing and Visual Arts. I was a trumpet player, and this is an all call. I’m starting a church. Bryn Borum is one of my employees. Take care of her, Will you?

This is how celebrities do it. Here’s everything we know and they don’t. I’m going to tell you what they’ve all missed, and you’ll be able to survive. This is the It Gets Better I would have made if anyone had ever asked me.

You see, the reason the stars count on me is that I have been working for free like a cis, straight

–

Everyone says I have an answer for everything, but the one question they don’t ask is “how are you feeling?” You think that I am not thoughtful, motivated, caring, compassionate, etc. because my father left the church and for the first time in my life I didn’t know what to do. I was 17.

Everyone learns to wrestle with “God,” in quotes not to offend anyone because God Brings Many Names.

In a previous entry, I told you that

Butthepeopleonfacebookdontseethat.rar

Supergrover_Did.bak

Thanks to the guys at Alert Logic for supporting me.

We’re why it all works, and not why you fucked up. You are the audience while we’re getting ready for a show. Jon Durbin from The Suffers and Robert Glasper were in Jazz II with me. What was it like when Beyoncé got there?

If you’ve been paying attention, they were skimming the page.

It’s funny how much I get done while being called a slacker, the plight of every woman whether they look like Comic book guy or not.

I put the jokes in before I put in everything else to be sure I can make it through. The entire world sucks and also I don’t have any support. You know what it’s like. We’ve all been there.

See you on Friday.

Calm, cool, collected. The reason I seem so crazy to you is because I’m taking care of them. Well, I haven’t actually met all of them, they’re just friends of friends. Some of them I’ve known since I was 14. I met Bryn and we’ve been close since 1997. She and my dad are the two people that keep me going.

I’m dying inside.

Because all of this is a compilation of the greatest hits, formatted like a regular e-mail.

Bite me.

My friends have me.

It’s like I’m a writer who has taken shorthand so mysterious she can’t even read it and ended up in STEAM, which at first I didn’t even believe was a real thing.

The arts are non binary, and God is a deadname.

And I’m still here.

When I move to Medium, Bryn will be here.

Not every day like me- I am really, really gone. But I’m neurodivergent and I still have an account. If I get busy I’ll forget, because I’m lost in my own head.

It’s not personal.

The GUI is working and the command line is fucked.

All of the celebrities and all of the infrastructure need me.

Go away.

p.s. If they show that fuckin’ Deadpool trailer again I’m going to lose my shit, but I love Ryan and I’m trying to reach out to him because I saw him on TV and he doesn’t look ok. Neither does Ben so it’s an “all call party.” You love to hear those words……….. But then again, Ryan is never okay. Neither am I. The reason I like Ryan is that I liked Ryan. The way I was able to reach an editor in

But all of these people are me.

Stay with Bryn, and be her Jesuses.

Somebody Fainted Somewhere, and now a whole lot of people are oing to get jobs. Pay them what they’re worth and don’t stiff them because I can vouch for them.

Please start sharing this shit on Facebook. I’m tired of being poor.

I just didn’t think anything good came from Nazareth, and wasn’t given a choice to “suit up and play.”

Everyone who knows me, shush. Me and CIA are cool, right? I don’t want them to come after me. I should probably have known to Burn After Reading.

Ben, if you want to come live with us, you can. I saw Matt and Casey on the news. They’re looking good.

You ok?

I came here to write the sequel to Argo, so I think we’re going to need a bigger office this time around. My fuckin printer’s so jammed I just made a typo because I’m frustrated and people keep picking on me. It’s why I’m so bitter and angry all the time. I’m emotionally overloaded, autistic, melting down, and burning out. I am not lazy. I am not high functioning all the time.

Supergrover made this all about her, and won’t hear that she’s being egocentric. I’m her main character, but I’m not sure she knows how important she is because while she’s gone I wrestle with Abraham, Moses, Mark and the Synoptic Wonders,John,…… even the begats. That’s because you’re always to the right, and people think it’s sinister. Those people end up in food service, but those people are more likely to be like Rachel Maddow than getting her food. It’s just that you don’t see it because they’re gay.

In that moment you were missing

I’m the one that claught.

Supergrover is BCC, because no one thought to ask who I knew. They only saw me as Comic Book Guy.

But what do I care, they didn’t even give Comic Book Guy a partner.

And then I realized that the Simpsons is better than everyone else because it’s got all of Conan O’Brien’s heartbreak.

In that moment Christ was Ginger, and you missed it.

Colbert fans fan go fuck themselves.

It’s not because they’re bad people. It’s that they get in the way and it’s annoying.

Fair_and_Balanced.pdf

I didn’t have time to craft. It’s almost 2:00 AM.

That’s not really true. It’s a nod to how my dad used to put together his sermons, not to be taken literally.

But it’s ok. No one knows anything around here who takes shorthand and doesn’t deserve my crap.

In that moment Christ was

Education

Intelligence

The Military

Al Gore

Hillary Clinton

……..and yesterday, someone asked me not to swear.

I’m okay now. Just a frustrated writer who could use an autistic friend, and there’s gotta be someone in there. I don’t know any of them, but what I do know is that even in the shadows where you think you’re safe, things fall into the cracks.

But I might get the girl in the end if she wants a job because she lives here. Notice I didn’t ask her for one. Not once.

But every day I’m an asshole. I don’t have any emotional regulation at all, so I use it to feed you. It’s how we function. We take a lot of medications before the show.

Ibuprofen is free.

---

I know how it feels not to get another chance, so I give them a lot. Too much. That’s going to stop, which is why Medium is a paid platform. I came here to get a job, and I was so emotionally overloaded from being hit I couldn’t function and I leaned too much on myself for comfort. It isn’t personal. I needed some time to grieve. Life doesn’t stop for neurotypical people when a parent dyes, but I lost all my social masks and don’t know how to act in public. What’s on brand is that to the outside world, this will be nothing at all, and we’ll move on. But the few people here will ensure the message gets delivered into the future, where I have no one waiting yet. But I am at peace because I have so many friends and little time that I’m overwhelmed with a little. Autism Sucks. You don’t even die of it.

“AIDS will hill you, but herpes is for life.”

I heard it on NPR.

That was gallows humor to deal with pain.

so I read Jonna to cope. It’s why I had to meet her.

It was the autism pipeline, the way I realized I was autistic. Once I was reading case studies and later generating case studies, I used AI to be able to create biographies for research. However, the way it works is that you get 12 or 13 interactions to ask anything in the world.

Some people use it to make cat pictures.

Some people use it for editing.

Some people, frankly, use it for war.

When you have PTSD, you end up on the Mendez doorstep reading on the floor of the Spy Museum. It’s embarrassing how many pictures they’ve taken of me. (Jonna, I haven’t harassed ANYONE this week.)

While I’m entertaining myself, it’s mostly looking at masks.