How are you creative?

My neighbors are setting off fireworks and it’s 00:32. We might be here a while. I haven’t heard anything that sounded like it was the big finale, although the bangs are getting further apart. It’s enough to be very distracting because while I know what it is, it’s still more sensory information coming at me than I want. Plus, I agreed to FaceTime my family in the morning, so I’m not happy that it’s impossible to sleep right now. Every time I think it’s over, there’s a couple more. I have jumped mile-high several times in the last hour.

That’s the other weird thing. Who buys enough fireworks that they’ll last for an hour except a city? I can tell it’s not downtown because the sound is too close. Therefore, that means my neighbors must have been stockpiling those puppies for a while.

So, when I think about being creative, I think about being able to leave fireworks behind. I get so involved in thinking and typing that there’s no room for anything else. The only thing I don’t have right now are Bluetooth cans, because I broke mine and am waiting for a new pair to be delivered. When there are loud noises like this outside, or when there’s a lot of people downstairs and I can make out what they’re saying (noise level is good when there’s interaction, because I like the busyness. It’s too much when my brain is trying to process what they’re saying while I’m trying to think on my own. It’s the same problem I had at work….. being expected to have a conversation and transcribe it at the same time so that the call could be short and I could take the next call faster. I cannot read music, either. That’s because I cannot run two thought processes at the same time. Listening to someone, responding to them, and writing it all down is just as impossible for me as counting the bass and treble clefs. If we’re talking about an orchestral score, there are multiple parts in those two clefs, plus the violas are in alto clef. I am brave enough to play in an orchestra. I admire conductors.

My best illustration of what I can’t do that other conductors can is based on a man who was my dad’s All-State conductor, but I can’t remember which year or his name, which is probably good because I wouldn’t want to confuse him with the conductor who threw stands (he made All-State all four years- if you’re in Texas, you’re impressed. Trumpet is vicious competition because of our egos, and he, in fact, won the whole ass thing. It was also unexpected, because he was from Daingerfield, competing against players who already had access to Juilliard-level instruction because they lived in a big city).

Anyway, this clarinet player shows up and says that one of her keys is broken, so one of the notes doesn’t play and she has to go home. If I remember the story, it was a B flat. The conductor says, “sit down. You don’t have a B flat in this piece.” The conductor isn’t keeping track of one part. They know all of them.

Because I have had good relationships with all my conductors, no matter their personality, I believe that I’d get along just as well with Michael Tilson Thomas and Marin Alsop as I did with my conductor in sixth grade band. Just because they’re known all over the world doesn’t mean that we don’t speak the same language. Neither of them would ever ask me to play with them, but I’d never want to do so- more fun to watch them work than it is to be onstage. I also don’t like when they’re in the pit and you can’t see them. I love it when symphonies/operas project the conductor onto a screen. It’s so the singers can see them, but it feels like it’s just for me. I’m going to go with that.

I’m creative if I know things about you. I will remember things about you down to the smallest detail, so that when it’s time to pick out a gift, I will score a win. Zac does the same thing, so I hope I pleased him with his gifts, too. I got him bracelets made of “nautical rope,” and when they arrived they weren’t exactly the style I thought they’d be, and I teared up when there were five in the package and he put one on me, too. I said, “awwww, it’s our first Christmas together and you got me jewelry.” But that’s not all. I also found him black hoop earrings that look like a dragon is eating its tail. I like dragons, and Zac is into fantasy, so I didn’t think that dragon earrings would be a miss.

Speaking of dragons, my favorite is Paarthurnax. My favorite tinvak (conversation in Dragon) goes something like this (I don’t remember it verbatim):

Paarthurnax Do you know why I choose to live here, at the top of the Monahvin, which your kind calls “Throat of the World?”
Dragonborn: I don’t know. Dragons like mountains, right?
Paarthurnax: Hmmm, true…..

Just the sound of his voice is amusing, because it’s like “got you there.” Like, it hadn’t occurred to him that to a human, this was a completely normal human thing to do.

Speaking of Paarthurnax, I had to go to Sky Temple Haven after the main storyline and was so satisfied that Delphine attacked me so I could rightfully beat the crap out of her. She’s such a bitch to you that players generally beat the hell out of her if they get the chance…… and then find out she’s marked essential so you can do it over and over and over. This is a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your perspective. You can be vindictive AF, but you can kill Paarthurnax but not the woman that wants him dead? Insane.

I think the fireworks are finally over, so I think I’ll spend a few minutes reading, because I might hear Santa.