- We can change our orientations at will.
- If you believe the traditional evangelical line of thought, we gays are just not working hard enough at trying to be straight. If we really wanted to, we could change. We’re just rebellious and obnoxious. The truth is way more complicated than that. People have sex with each other for all sorts of reasons, including straight people just wondering what it’s like and vice versa. However, that does not translate into what kind of person you’re going to be attracted to and want to communicate with when you find a serious relationship. Relationships are so much more complicated than sex, because sex is so superficial to who you really are. Orientation is not decided by great sex with either gender. I’ve had more than one man say to me that I could cure being a lesbian with one good fuck (almost always from him). Good luck with that.
- We have an agenda for the United States.
- Why do you say that like you aren’t doing the same thing? Everyone has an agenda for the country, especially the evangelicals that harp on this point. If there is anything that gays want, it’s freedom from your hypocrisy. You’re wagging the dog, and we hate you for it. Gay rights are all about expanding the tax benefits you get when you get married in this country, because marriage is not tied to religion. God is. You and your kin will have the same opportunity to make us feel unwelcome in your churches all on your own.
- We make bad parents because a child doesn’t get both a Mom and a Dad.
- This is just cruel, and you know it. You’re scoring cheap political votes by stepping on the heads of others. Targeting gays like this isn’t the real issue, but it’s a great way to take the focus off N. Korea and to the moral bankruptcy of America. If you really had a problem with gay parents because they don’t give the kid both a mom and a dad, then you are also damning every family that doesn’t have a mom and a dad. Good luck getting the single parent vote, you egocentric bastards. Never mind that there are studies that gay people make better parents all around, because there are so fucking few unwanted pregnancies. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. I will say it out loud that there is a special place in hell for those closeted bastards in Congress that by day, support laws that hurt them, and by night, suck cock like it’s going out of style.
- Gay Marriage Isn’t Real Marriage
- This is another myth that drives me completely batshit crazy. Look at my life. I am a computer nerd to the highest degree, and I always will be. Dana is as big a nerd as me, just in different areas of her life. Do we really seem like our marriage would be so damn different than yours? We take out the trash, we do our laundry, we fight over sex, money, Jeopardy!, and what’s going to happen on Doctor Who. If we had kids, we would both become a taxi service. If we had grandkids, we’re the grandparents that would think it’s funny to give them a drum set. We think our in-laws would like each other, but we can’t think of a place for them to meet. Does that sound all that different from you? Talk me through your day and tell me where you think our marriages might be different. I dare you. And if you say one thing about it being different when we go to bed, because we’re doing unspeakable things to each other, first of all, you’re right. Second of all, your straight friends don’t want to think about you having sex, either, Stud.
- You can instantly tell someone is gay by their mannerisms.
- The truth is that, yeah, sometimes you can. But I guarantee that for every gay person you know that’s “fabulous” or “wears comfortable shoes,” there are even more where you’d never know unless they told you. That’s what’s intrinsically wrong with offensive jokes about gay people. Say one in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you’re likely to find out that your boss is gay and you don’t have a job.
- A corollary…
- We can tell you’re straight. Especially those of you that shop at Sears for clothes.
Stories That Are All True 