Tag: Ukraine

The Democrats are Losing the Plot

~ Leslie Lanagan ~ Leave a comment

There is no more dangerous assumption in this election than Joe Biden is too old. There are too many problems inherent in changing horse midstream, particularly since Kamala Harris is the logical choice should the Democrats drop him from the ticket. She represents everything racists hate, which would only make the NASCAR vote bigger than the YASCAR’s…………. or at the very least, close in an election where it shouldn’t be close. If you are on the “Biden’s too old” train, you are not seeing the forest for the trees. People don’t like changing presidents in times of war. They just don’t. Biden will likely squeak by with a win just because even though we’re not at war, we’re in a war mindset. We are emotionally involved in Ukraine, Israel, and Palestine.

Let me say for the record that my heart is for both sides in the Middle East. I hate the Israeli government, not Palestine or the Jewish people. To conflate hate for Benjamin Netanyahu as antisemitism is going against the wishes of most Israelis and Palestinians, who live side by side ruled by a government that does not give a shit about its own people. If they die, they die. Netanyahu doesn’t give a shit if he “wins” when he bombs integrated neighborhoods. Antisemitism is not the issue here, Dude. Netanyahu has decided that in terms of war, he’s the one who knocks. Palestine has rocket launchers and rocks. Israel is armed with nuclear weapons. it’s not a fair fight, and Netanyahu gives absolutely no fucks.

If Trump is elected, we stand the very real chance of Ukraine not being able to stand up to Russia anymore, because if Trump extorted Zelenskyy once, he’ll do it again. That’s because he’s already gotten away with it once, the most moronic thing about Trump being a sane candidate in my eyes. That’s because for the whole Trump presidency, the GOP showed its true colors:

Jed: Theirs is the party of inclusion.
Charlie: That’s what they tell me.

For the uninitiated, it’s a conversation in “The West Wing.” Jed is the Democratic president, and Charlie is his body man (and at one point was almost assassinated for dating the president’s very white, very ginger daughter). It’s tongue in cheek because Charlie is black. The GOP’s true colors are showing because they’re afraid of everything progressive. No historically intelligent Republican would take all this lying down. No self-respecting one would, either. I often wonder if William F. Buckley, John McCain, and Ronald Reagan are rolling in their graves. If we’re going to talk about the crimes of the GOP, even Richard Nixon is like, “I’m out.” He broke into Democratic headquarters (or was the mastermind, anyway). Now, Trump is making him look fucking adorable.

I think people are greatly underestimating how good Trump is at being a Russian asset, because he doesn’t have to come out and say he supports Putin no matter what he does. Putin impresses him and feeds his ego, and he gives away information freely, even classified because it’s not that he’s willing to sell secrets. It’s that he’s genuinely too stupid to remember what’s classified and what’s not…. or at least, that’s how he comes across to me. He’s a Useful Idiot, not a proud FSB operative. We are going to stumble into Russia getting whatever they want just because Trump is impressed.

Meanwhile, the United States is trying to keep Ukraine sovereign. That won’t happen under Trump, because he’ll play both sides. He’ll support the country that gives him the most, because all his relationships are transactional. At this point, we are not talking about two candidates that are the same. On its surface, the election looks like two old guys, but one of them is not like the other. We’ve already been warned by Russia about “getting involved.” So, do we fold to that pressure by electing Trump?

Let’s not.

When people talk about a Trump presidency, they generally have either forgotten or never knew how bad it was. Trump didn’t choose the best and the brightest around him. He only hired people that would toe the company line, which is how Trump does business. Hire people who never disagree with him, then don’t pay them.

This election is not about the candidates, but the baggage that comes with them in terms of staff. You are not voting for a party, you’re voting to keep things the same. Sometimes, it’s better to keep the devil at bay.

I mean, maybe there were only two Corinthians. We weren’t there. Not every sermon is a hit.

Empathy

~ Leslie Lanagan ~ 1 Comment

What positive emotion do you feel most often?

For people like me (INFJ, highly sensitive, neurodivergent), empathy is a river of everpresentlovingkindness and a waterfall of tears. My mirror neurons go off for all people who struggle. Because of the negative effects that come with ADHD and Bipolar disorder, sometimes that part of me seems dammed, but it’s not. My focus has turned away, but the emotions are still there. I can’t turn them off, especially with ADHD, because there are 57 channels (and nothing’s on).

I try to focus on empathy, though, because if I didn’t I would recede into myself. For instance, my love of real world intelligence comes from more than one place. I lost a family member in Somalia who was a helicopter pilot for C/DIA, so when I see the stars on the wall at Langley, I know one of them is a personal memorial for me to visit should I get the chance. Another is spies in popular culture, but not necessarily fictional characters. “The Courier” is a true story, as is “Argo.” But those I watched as an adult. As a kid, I was introduced to James Bond and that was a love affair all its own. I didn’t want to marry James Bond. I wanted to be him.

I think that’s because I didn’t connect it that I would have to move to England to do that. I love CIA because I’m an American and feel proud of us, but I am equally obsessed with MI-6 (and the Tom Clancy level of detail that John Le Carre puts into his books). My favorite stories involve collaboration between the two institutions, which I’m sure happens all the time in real life, but isn’t reflected on screen all that often. The reason I think that is because I met a spy from London that was basically “on loan” to us for a task force on human trafficking. I thought that was infinitely cool and became interested in other countries’ intelligence agencies as well. KGB/GRU is fascinating even though I don’t particularly have a fondness for Russia itself.

I am focused on the Vietnam War era of CIA because I am indirectly writing a book about it… but the Cold War is a close second. Most of the retired spies I’ve met were active in the 80s and early 90s, steeping me in stories of East German and Russian operations and cute little Trabants. Regarding my book, it’s actually a platonic love story between two men who are trying to prevent the war from happening altogether. I do not know how the novel is going to end. That’s the best part. I want to write this book because I want to read it.

I’ll put a picture of a Trabant at the end because they’re not popular cars anymore and you simply must see one. To me, they look like pets. When Chevron and Pixar created their cartoon cars, they really missed the boat. A talking Trabant would be every bit as cute to me as a puppy.

The fact that Zac has worked in intelligence since “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is not lost on me and is in fact extraordinarily meaningful. That’s because historically, queer people haven’t been allowed to be spies. It’s not because the US was actively trying to be homophobic….. I mean, they were, but there’s an extremely valid reason behind it that I cannot ignore. If they were caught, it was a short path to blackmail. Either come work for us or we’ll blow up your whole life. I don’t have any anger or bitterness against CIA for not being able to hire me, either, for a similar reason.

If I was caught, the first thing that would be done in another country is taking away my psych meds, even if they were available there. That’s because they automatically think that making me unstable is the best way to get me to talk. Joke’s on them. I wouldn’t talk, but I would be a rage-filled chihuahua (I’m 5’2). Physical withdrawal from an SSRI or mood stabilizer lasts weeks. I have a feeling that wouldn’t go well for me. It’s discrimination, but also empathy. They’re not going to allow me to be in a situation where someone takes away my medication.

Knowing that part of it comes from being a fan of both “Homeland” and “Jack Ryan.” Carrie Mathison did get made and had her psych meds denied. My bipolar disorder is far less severe than hers, but it drove the point home. James Greer was sneaking heart medication, I believe. Different drug, same issue.

It’s devastating because I really would have liked to work on the whole world’s problems at once. I’m just not dumb enough to lead the crusade in a fight to get me hired because for as much as it sucks, I agree with them. The problem, to me, is not getting hired. It’s what happens after you join. I have trouble believing that a case officer will never have to supplement or balance their brain chemicals at all during their entire career. CIA is so massive that there are plenty of jobs where you don’t have to travel at all, but if you are an operative, there’s probably not a chance in hell you’d take one.

That’s because spy agencies are hyped up by the movies to an enormous degree, and yet when I read true life spy stories, I realize that there’s a lot of the same nervous energy I felt before service at a restaurant. I’d be standing in front of a table daydreaming, prepping and nervous before the pop. Feeding hundreds of people is also an operation, and so many nights I could have used an ex-fil. 😉 If I was a current operative, a great place for me would be embedded with World Central Kitchen. I don’t think CIA likes to embed people in humanitarian organizations if they don’t have to do so, because it affects the reputation of the charity. For instance, you will never see an operative disguised as a priest or a Peace Corp officer. That being said, I think CIA should basically be Jose Andres’ right hand, because there’s no one more invisible to the rest of the world than cooks and waitstaff.

I could be The Little Gray Man because I’m just “the help.” What the fuck do I know? Meanwhile, I can learn everything without saying anything. I don’t even have to ask any questions; I can give them enough rope to hang themselves.

But it’s not in the interest of anything other than empathy. Being able to stop horrific things from happening is a worthy cause. I would love to work on saving the people of Ukraine, or perhaps saving women and girls from the Taliban. If I could pick, it would be Ukraine because I don’t necessarily want to work where it’s 110 in the shade. I grew up in Houston, and still technically live in the South. “Dry heat” only helps so much. MENA (State designation for Middle East North Africa) is a giant sandbox where the sun is actively trying to kill you. Poland sounds nice this time of year compared to that. That being said, it wouldn’t matter where I was placed based on geography. I’d just like a job where I actually felt capable. I don’t know which problem in the world would make me feel that way.

But here’s what I do know.

Jose Andres went to Ukraine/Poland out of the same empathy I would.

If you have the means, please donate to World Central Kitchen, and if you’re local, take every chance you can get to throw money in his piggy bank. Zaytinya is amazing down to the French fries.

There are more ways to love the world than just trying to stop bad things from happening. Sometimes you need to actively support the good.

If we can use intelligence to stop wars, we save lives by not putting soldiers in harm’s way. During the Cuban Missile Crisis, we averted nuclear war due to several people. Some of them were Russian assets who gave us invaluable information without Khrushchev knowing what cards Kennedy was holding, and and one submarine officer that pulled a Denzel Washington on Gene Hackman.

Now the theme to “Crimson Tide” is playing in my head.

So, when you think of my empathy, make sure it includes people I will never, ever meet. My heart is big enough to love them all.

This is My Song

~ Leslie Lanagan ~ Leave a comment

Today I was very surprised that Bryn told me she loved Finland. Full stop. She didn’t get it from me…….. and is going to adopt Finnish Independence Day with me. Here’s a breadcrumb for the people who already know this story. It’s on December 6th.

It’s so stupid and yet it works. Believe me, she is not adopting Finnish Independence Day just to share something I like. Nope. She loves it for the same reason I do, because when we write our stories together, they fit like holding hands, which is very interesting in and of itself. I’ve written about it before, so let’s just not go there. It’s not relevant anymore, and it’s too deep for today. I want to focus on something else. Basically, being a Finn for a day helps me not think about something else that needs to stay walled off, because I’ve already had that exorcism and feel peaceful about it….. but not invincible. Triggers happen.

I have a long sleeve gray t-shirt that has the outline of Finland on it, so I have something supportive to wear that day. It is my armor. I laugh to myself when I read Jesus saying “it is finished,” because to my mind that’s a typo.

I don’t think I’ve ever said that before…….. about something being too deep for today. However, the weather is miserable and I don’t want to help it out.

When we get the pennies, we’re out of here. At least for a little while. We need to stand on the steps of the “outdoor living room” in Helsinki, with all the military bands and choirs and the blue and white candles and the lights and EVERYTHING. I’ve just told her be prepared not to want to come home. It’s the happiest country in the world, and we’ll be there in December, so if that’s not a road test I don’t know what is. I don’t mean this December. I’m just holding onto the dream of doing it *someday.* I want to save up my pennies because there’s a chef I will do some shady shit to meet. Hell yeah, reindeer pizza. Plus, I have developed a soft spot for salmiakki (sp?). The other plus is that most Finns speak English, so we wouldn’t have to be fluent in Suomi unless we just wanted to be sort of impressive. Why would white girls speaking Suomi be special IN FINLAND. 😛 It would blow their minds to hear us in our Oregon and Texas accents, because it would only be when we switched to English that people would realize something is afoot at the Circle K.

An additional bonus is that we’ll get to see what used to be a part of Russia without ACTUALLY HAVING TO GO THERE. I am seriously unimpressed with Russia and geeked out over Finland. I watched a documentary on a few of the epic battles. Keep in mind these people basically live in Hoth, okkkkkk. So, they played to their strengths. White camo. Skis. Bazinga.

If I was Russia, I’d be pretty pissed that a country full of skiers fucked up my program, too. But they deserved it, just like they deserve Zelenskyy handing them their asses.

Since conversation about Finland invariably leads to conversation about Ukraine given world events, I also told Bryn about “Servant of the People,” the show that launched Z’s career. He created some amazing people that I can’t wait to spend more time with, even if it’s just watching the first season again.

Maybe I’ll ask Zac if he wants to watch an episode. We’re getting together later and it seems like a show he would watch. I’m not sold on it for tonight, but I do think he would think it’s funny. The pilot is a masterpiece. For the uninitiated, here’s the basic plot.

Ukraine has ranked voting. That’s the first thing you need to know.

The second is that Zelenskyy’s character is a history teacher. The day before the election, one of his kids films him going off on a rant about the government and what it should be doing, and doesn’t see a kid filming him, who promptly posts it on YouTube. Oblivious, Zelenskyy goes to bed. The kids have registered him as a candidate, and he’s in the bathroom when the Secret Service arrives to pick him up.

Every bit…. EVERY bit as funny as “The Office.” For instance, Zelenskyy says that he needs to go to the mall to get a CD for his niece. The Secret Service says they’ll take care of it. They can’t find the CD, so they just go and pick up the band.

Life happens when you’re doing something else. Through comedy, Zelenskyy absolutely filets Putin. I have no illusions about the fact that Putin’s ego probably helped cause all this if my blog is any indication. Zelenskyy embarrassed him on television, so he deserves to die.

Imagine what Trump would do if there were no laws preventing him from something like starting a war because someone embarrassed him on television. I’m surprised he didn’t do it while he had the chance. All of his other enemies were merely people who didn’t agree with them, and the facts were on their side.

I imagine Trump being Putin’s confidante, where they can talk about all the ways in which the world is just so unfair to them.

Maybe they’d be happier if they celebrated Finnish Independence Day. It worked for me.