If you were forced to wear one outfit over and over again, what would it be?

I am never forced to wear one outfit over and over. I choose to buy lots of things that look the same, because of the thread count on the fabric or whatever. I’m basically Mark Zuckerberg in terms of fashion. Both he and Steve Jobs chose one simple, comfortable outfit to wear every day to cut down on decision fatigue. I just prefer t-shirts and hoodies to turtlenecks. Oh, and like Mark Zuckerberg, I own one nice outfit (kidding him about having a suit for Congress).

This may or may not seem obvious, but it is very, very hard for autistic people to find dress clothes if they’re not rich. You think I’m kidding, but you don’t get into really truly comfortable dress shirts and suits until you can afford Brooks Brothers without sticker shock. My answer for this is Goodwill. I hardly ever buy new clothes, because I can afford any brand I want at Goodwill.

With autism, little things matter an enormous amount. Enormous. I don’t want to be able to feel the stitches, or any of the hardware, really. I want it to be fabric that calls to my skin, like an undershirt that’s been washed forty times. I want every piece of clothing to feel that precious. Otherwise, my senses will pay attention to the feeling of my clothes, and I don’t want that at all.

Autism forcing me to wear something is also a thing. My wrist will scream bloody murder the entire time my Apple Watch is charging because EXCUSE ME SIR SOMETHING IS MISSING. That part of me has an asymetrical haircut when I talk to the manager. Except that I’m also nonbinary, so the “sir” is also me. I am complaining to myself and the one to which I’m complaining has the same amount of power as that little voice in my head. Like, you can talk to the manager ALL DAY, but you still have Autism.

Being nonbinary very much feels like a male and female voice in my head talking to each other at all times. It makes sense, because I get by in society with social masking. Therefore, both sets of social masking present as conversational voices in my head. Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.

I am the galaxy.

Being so buttoned up and conservative in my clothing so that I don’t pay attention to it frees my brain up to have better conversations. It is hard to think while my Apple Watch is charging, probably one of the most ridiculous sentences I’ve ever written and would make perfect sense to another person with autism. On its face, it sounds like I’m a drooling fanboy for Apple. What I am really saying is that with things like a watch or a wedding ring, my brain screams bloody murder when they’re not there. I’m surprised I didn’t connect autism to taking off my wedding ring at the time. It seemed to take forever for the grooves to grow out, and if I think about it, my finger buzzes in the way it used to when the ring was on.

It’s not a fandom issue, just a sensory one.

I will wear my watch dead for three days before I’ll take it off to charge it. I get demand avoidance over it almost every day.

It sounds childish. It’s autistic. Please note the difference, because when you don’t you tend to confuse me for a child. I will give it to you that I’m not any taller than your other children.

So, forced to wear is never a thing externally, but a driving force internally. I have to tell neurodivergence to calm its little ass down.