DANA DOESN’T KNOW WHAT MASH IS.
Apparently, the ’80s game that swept the nation missed Northern Virginia, because she had never heard of Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House. It’s going to be difficult to explain without visual aid, so here are the basics:
- Take out a sheet of notebook paper and write the word at the top like this: MASH. The larger the letters, the better.
- Name three people you’d like to marry.
- Name three places you’d like to live.
- Name three kinds of car you’d like to drive.
- Put three numbers, which are the number of kids you’d like to have.
- Name three different pets you’d like to own.
Basically, just put the things you want to know about your future life in groups of three and let the MASH spiral work its magic.
The MASH Spiral
Once your categories are set, get the friend who’s playing with you to draw a spiral and tell them when to stop. Then count the lines across the spiral and that number is the number of lines you have to count before you cross something out. Eventually, you’ll end up with one thing in each category, but don’t forget to start with the M at the top of the page. Don’t you want to know what kind of house you’ll be living in?
As you can see by the diagram (look who got a Wacom tablet!), Oprah and I will be living in a Portland mansion with two children, a cat, and a Saturn Sky in the driveway. Life could be worse.
I could have ended up in a shack with someone who doesn’t know what MASH is.
Stories That Are All True 
I can assure you, MASH did not miss Northern Virginia, just Dana’s small corner of it. 🙂
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Hilarious! I will tell her when she gets home from work.
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