I think we must have done something good, because they’re passing out Alert Logic-branded cake pops in the break room. They taste like vanilla with a little bit of cheesecake mixed in. They’re very good. I grabbed three, but they’re not all for me. I got one for Dana and one for Robert, my next door neighbor… which reminds me, I need to get one for Matt, too.
Be right back…
Matt is Robert’s roommate. They are the best straight gay couple ever. Even though they’re not romantically involved, they take care of each other like brothers and really share the responsibility of the house. Robert is the owner, and Matt is diligent about helping out… mostly because Robert will kill Matt in his sleep if he doesn’t.
I met Matt the day we moved in. I marched right over to the house next door and knocked. Because I was so broken when I got here, I took it as a real sign of progress that I was getting better. Here I was, standing on a stranger’s front porch, and I actually wanted to talk to whoever was inside. I thought, “this is not me. This is some other Leslie who has stolen me for the day. I don’t have this much energy. I don’t LIKE PEOPLE.” In the immortal words of Cheryl Hines in RV, “We’re not friendly, Bob.”
And then Buddy Threadgoode from Fried Green Tomatoes (Chris O’Donnell) came to the door. Seriously, Matt is a dead ringer. This smart, sweet, beautiful boy was my neighbor? SHUT. UP.
We stand on the driveway talking for a few minutes and Dana comes out of the house. She sees Matt and almost drops on the grass. Yes. He IS that handsome. Thank you for asking. The story gets even better from here. Matt and Robert rented our house for seven years before Robert bought the house next door. Matt spent an hour or so with us, telling us about the house and all of it’s little quirks.
Robert wasn’t home at the time, and Matt warned us about him. “He’s crazy. He has long hair and a bunch of tattoos.”
Oh, really? I think we’ll manage.
Now, the boys are just part of the family. If we owned our house, we’d just put a gate between our yards. Matt is getting married soon (his girlfriend lives in Pflugerville (outside of Austin), so his time on Bob White is limited. However, Robert is here to stay.
Long hair, tattoos, and all.