Dana and I have been hanging out at a little bar in town that specializes in socializing after work. There’s no liquor, and no wine. This is Texas at its finest… just beer and conversation. Robert (remember Robert?) recommended it to us, and we’ve been there just about every day since. It’s not about the beer. It’s about the people. Dana and I are the only women in the group, which I love. Men make excellent friends because there’s no tolerance for petty bullshit. We talk about stuff that *matters,* like football.
Last night, though. Last night was a little different. One of the guys asked me about the feather tattoo on my left forearm (which is totally the only reason I have tattoos… conversation starters). I explained to him that it was a quill dripping blood into a paragraph, and is based on the quote by Paul Gallico, “It is only when you open your veins and bleed onto the page a little that you establish contact with your reader.” I gave him my URL. I think I bleed just as much in that moment, because I have yet to see the writer that doesn’t wait on pins and needles wondering if the feedback is going to be positive or negative.
Additionally, these are the type of guys that wouldn’t seek out relationships with gay people. It’s not that they’re opposed to it (obviously), it’s just that there hasn’t been an opportunity. One of the guys even said, “I think you guys are my first gay friends.” If you’ve never heard that before, it’s a gorgeous moment. It says “I accept you for who you are in a way that I didn’t know I could do until right this moment.”
He went on to ask about our families, and whether they accepted us or not. That led us down the path of conservative religion and its power to destroy relationships and divide families. This was not from our end. When you start talking about gay people with conservatives that really want to listen, that’s when you hear the stories of what happened in their family when X relative came out and all hell broke loose… literally.
They knew I went to church, and they asked me how that was even possible. When I started talking about “my Jesus,” their eyes lit up. They were all like, “you make some very excellent points!” I told them that I was thinking of starting my own church, because Houston needs more places to worship that are non-judgmental, accepting of all…
It makes sense. I’m in network security, and I cannot think of a network I would like to keep more secure than the one supporting all of us in our need… and when we have all we need, the network that encourages to look outside ourselves and see what needs to be done.
I am still in that place of weakness, that place where I know I have a lot of work to do on myself before I get too far down the road with this journey. Last night, though, I took a step, and landed on solid ground.