Pretty sure the Presbyterians own that title, but I don’t mean to steal. I mean to say that we’re all in this together. All fighting the same struggle. All trying to keep our defenses up so that no one can penetrate, and we all try to get through as best we can. We hit, we miss, we fumble along… because that is the way of life. Beauty and pain all mixed together in inextricable strands. You cannot take one from the other. Darkness feeds light, and light feeds darkness, because it is the same DEPENDING ON WHERE YOU’RE STANDING.
If you choose to find darkness, you will. If you choose to find hatred, you will. If you choose to find any number of sins, you will find them all in the glory of life…. as well as the celebrations. The sadness encourages the sweet and vice versa.
It is the dance of intimacy that we all crave, the one we’ll do anything for, because being let in says “I belong.” When that doesn’t happen, we retreat into our own iniquities for the post mortem and at some point, decide for ourselves whether light or dark perpetuates itself.
I choose light. I choose freedom. I am just about the biggest bastard on earth, and sometimes I am so full of rage that I can’t even see straight. But that doesn’t mean I fall short of the glory of God. In so many ways, it blesses me more.
Who wants a priest who’s never screwed up? If you’re Catholic, do you wonder how your pastor can actually speak to marriage? I called my church “St. James and All Sinners” to highlight the fact that I am imperfect and so is everyone who follows me…. but that we are together in the struggle, because we will all fall short and need each other to resurrect what was lost.
The glory of the resurrection is even more intense when I think about all the pain Jesus endured to make it happen. It doesn’t make me feel like a martyr, though. Just that if Jesus can make it through a weekend like that, there’s nothing on earth I can’t accomplish.
Who cares if it factually happened when I can feel it happening inside me? Isn’t that what’s important?
God doesn’t need to learn jack shit from a gutter sniper like me. It’s just lucky that God doesn’t click off safe.