Today has just been red letter. I haven’t done anything special. I just feel good, for possibly the first time in days. Pain is manageable with Aleve and Tylenol (even without rheumatoid I hurt from being a computer geek). Dana apologized for leading me on, and I was surprisingly okay with it. Although before she left last night, I broke down in front of her and said, “I’m not sure my dream will happen without you.” She assured me that it would, but I’m losing a partner in ministry and that is not a small deal to me. However, at the same time, being a member of Dana’s family has sucked for so long that I’m done. It has always been the one of me against the three of them, and calling them out on their family dysfunction did NOT go well for me. I would say that Dana is glad that she and her parents are closer now, and I’m sorry it took me going thermonuclear for her to get it, but her parents will NEVER see that our fight led to something good. I will always be an intruder, and to be let go from that hook is glorious. I told one of my friends that I’d have to win a Pullitzer before they were happy. She said they’d find something wrong with that, too.
I agree, and that’s all that needs to be said about that, because I am happy today and I am not going to ruin that for myself by thinking about relationships that are ending. I’d rather think about relationships that are beginning. Auna has been in Austin all week training for her job at UT (admissions counselor at the Houston office), and we haven’t seen each other in at least a couple of weeks. I’m really looking forward to actually getting to know each other on the ground, because we chat a lot, but it’s different when she’s in front of me (of course). As I have said before, she sings around the house and it makes me blush with joy, because when I was a kid, Diane told me that one of her good memories of Jeri was sitting in a field, singing to her. I thought to myself that the only thing I wanted was for someone to sing to me, too.
When I got the Pie Jesu solo at Bridgeport, I finally knew that I was the one who was supposed to sing to someone else. Now it’s duet time. Because seriously. We both sing and we don’t sing together? That is on the redic and unacceptable. I honestly think that we have the capability to do things like “Take Me As I Am” from Rent, because that wouldn’t be stereotypical at all. Speaking of “Take Me,” OMG Lea Michele and Amber Riley. Do not even bother with the Broadway recording, because Lea and Amber connect like two wizarding wands.
But back to relationships.
I got to tease Argo today.