I’m Ready, I’m Ready

A feeling of calm has come over me that I haven’t felt in weeks. I’m going to get this job, or I’m not. All I can do is my best, which I believe is pretty amazing. I gots da mad skillz. I just have to prove it. If nothing else, I get time in a room with power players in the church, getting to know them and how things work. That is invaluable as a member as well, in case I want to be on any committees in the future. Nothing about this interview can go badly, because I am solid about the fact that whether I am an employee, this is my church and I love it. It’s an eight-minute walk to my house, and all of the other churches in the area are quite a bit farther than that. It would take me almost an hour to get to the Episcopal church by public transportation, and as much as I love the idea of using my red BCP every week, I also find that being in close proximity to a church allows me to be involved on a much greater level than just Sunday mornings. I have said that my church needs me. If I believe that is true, then I need to be available for more than one trip per week.

Having drinks with a lawyer next week. God, I love lawyers. I hope she’s a pit bull. She’s definitely a Whovian, I’ll give her that. She knows her shit. We could probably talk about that for hours without moving on to the scales of justice. I doubt she knows I took Con Law in college and thought about reading for law myself, and have a paralegal certificate in the state of Texas, which I’ve never used, but only because every law firm to which I applied wouldn’t take on a newbie. Plus, at this point in my life, I’m pretty set on not reading codes of civil or criminal procedure. It wasn’t boring, by any means, but I have this whole pastor thing going on, and it’s kind of my jam.

In other news, I woke up with a zit just above my lip, because of course I did. God, I can’t wait for this to end. I switched to really harsh soap for my face, some brand of Irish Spring, because dry is key. I use a washcloth for exfoliation, but I am still surprised at the amount of crap the witch hazel still finds. I thought I was done with this in college, but it’s not the acne, it’s the environment. I barely ever had a pimple in Oregon. It’s the South. All the humidity, and I highly doubt the air is as clean.

I’m not the only one with problems in this area. It was a terrible idea to move the federal capital to DC, because the humidity will slowly destroy all of our old documents if we let it. Dry is key. 😛

I also have a bit of a cold this morning, because of course I do. It started yesterday, but luckily has not progressed to a cough. I’m just stuffed up in my entire mask. Pseudophed and Afrin are helping mightily. I can almost even like, breathe and stuff. I would say that it’s allergies, except I have been on Zyrtec since I got here, and it’s working. I remember clearly saying to Samantha, “could you take me to the grocery store? Like, right now? I am dying because of all these plants.” She took pity on me and we were on the road within ten minutes. So I got that goin’ for me. I bought two months’ worth, because Zyrtec was on sale and Claritin might as well say “does not work” right on the box. Besides, it takes about two months for Zyrtec to build up in your system to really stop allergies cold. Spot treatment and Zyrtec are not two things that go great together. Also grateful to be in Maryland, where I only have to sign for pseudophed rather than having to get an actual prescription like in Oregon. It’s because the meth problem is so bad. I understand it, but it’s damned inconvenient to go to urgent care for just the sniffles.

Trying to decide what I’m going to wear tonight. All the people I’m interviewing with will be coming from work, so I’m thinking business casual. I can rock it, but not going to lie. I prefer my brown pants and surfer t-shirt. It’s my favorite outfit ever. Plus, the ever-important question. Shoes. Always Shoes.

Speaking of Kelly, I broke the cardinal fucking rule. I text-message broke up with Argo. Linday Lohan is going to kick my ass, as is Margaret Cho. I deserve it. With friends, you don’t usually break it off like that, but I was a deck.

Kumar: You’re worthless.
Roldy: I’m not worthwhile.

Technically, it was an e-mail. But that doesn’t make me feel any better. The Dana equation was getting serious. I didn’t want to hurt Dana anymore, and at the same time, I thought she was making a great play to get me isolated from someone I really loved. In short, it worked masterfully. She said Argo didn’t love me, that I was putting energy into a relationship in which I’d never get anything back.

Nothing could have been further from the truth. I just thought it could be, through Dana’s eyes. We could have been buds for life if Dana had just respected that love comes in many forms, and one it doesn’t is trying to pull me away from my other friends because of petty jealousy.

I was not impressed, which is why I packed up my shit and moved to the East Coast. I knew I wanted to start over in a way that I never had, settling down lifetime roots and trying to become the person I’ve always wanted to be.

And now I’m ready.