Venti Komodo Dragon

I am sitting at the Woodmoor Starbucks right off of The Beltway and Colesville Rd. so that I can get some writing done before I have to get to work in an hour. I was going to write at home, but today is my second day on antibiotics and I am sitting in the corner, away from everyone like a leper ought to be. I couldn’t do without my caffeine this morning, and I am out of coffee filters and caffeinated tea, so writing at home was just not in the cards. I am going to stop by Whole Foods on the way home, because there are certain products I can only buy there, and what I need is tea with extra buzz by Republic of Tea.™; There are several different flavors in both black and green, but my favorite is coconut black, because I don’t have to add anything to it on my way out the door. It’s already sweet enough. I thought I would get tired of it after 50 bags of coconut every day, but the coconut is just a whisper, not all-day cloying. The coffee filters are for the Christmas blend still sitting in my cabinet, because I don’t drink it that often, but it’s nice for a change.

So you might wonder why I’m on antibiotics yet again since I just had a Z-pack the last time I got a sinus infection. I didn’t think it was the best Tx either, but this time it’s pneumonia, and I’m not messing around. It got so bad that I went to urgent care and when they could hear me wheezing, I was willing to do whatever they said. This time, it’s a ten-day course of Augmentin, which I carry in my backpack so that I can take it on the way to work and on the way home without forgetting. I also have a nifty inhaler, which cost an arm and a leg, but seems to be helping and infinitely superior to steroids by mouth. They tend to make one agressive… the last time my father and my sister were on po (per oral) steroids, I thought one of them was going to move out. 😛 Of course, my sister was a teenager at the time, so it’s hard to tell between 17 and steroids… just like ADD and seven.

When I went to the pharmacy to pick up my medications, they didn’t have a 240ml bottle to put my cough syrup in, they only had one twice that size and filled it up halfway, so I look like a member of the fucking Chopped and Screwed group as I make my way through my week. It’s a good look, and remember ladies, I’m single.

I took a very strong sleeping pill last night around 7:30, knowing that the best thing I could do was get some rest, and I slept peacefully, my eyes popping open fifteen minutes before my alarm. It was another funny Dana quote kind of day, but I am too low-energy to switch back and forth between WordPress and Facebook to look them up again. But sufficed to say, laughter energized me enough to get me into a very hot shower and sit in the steam until I could talk again.

In case you’re wondering, Bryn, I haven’t returned your phone call not because I don’t love you to the moon and back, just because I can’t talk at all. Maybe a chat would be better until my voice returns?

Also, to add insult to injury, when I was sitting in the doctor’s office, I felt that very familiar pain in my abdomen of my uterus trying to fall out and I just could not even. I have pneumonia and the hassle of being both emotionally and physically laden with Aunt Flo? It’s amazing I am upright and dressed. Both of those things take energy out of me like a Dyson vacuum with the proper amount of suction. It reminds me of the night Dana and I were over at our friends Laura and Philip’s house, watching Grey’s Anatomy, and I don’t know how the subject came up, but I said, “do you notice that all of the problems with, and the solution to your vagina all involve yogurt? The entire room just broke up, and as I fight my way through my period and my augmentin it wouldn’t hurt to get some Activia to avoid the Diflucan train. Bad things happen in threes. Bank on it.

Boy, this Komodo Dragon cofee is really hitting the spot, like that commercial for White Castle in “Harold and Kumar” where the boys are staring at the television when the announcer says, “do you want the perfect food?” The boys are just staring at the TV in awe and wonder, and I am staring at my coffee in the same way. It may be the cold medication (sans codeine- it’s daytime), but I look just like them.

As an aside, Kal Penn has joined the cast of “Deadbeat” on Hulu, and it is the greatest casting ever, because basically it’s another Kumar-type role. Kal Penn is just one of those guys that I’d love to be my friend, but unfortunately, I think he’s already moved from DC, so the chance of us running into each other is fairly slim unless he comes back to work for Indian Affairs for Clinton.

I doubt there will be a department of Indian Affairs under Trump. I was livid when the news came out yesterday that the mayor of London might be “the one exception to the not letting Muslims into the country” rule. Trump is such a sack of shit in an expensive suit with a bad haircut. The only thing he’s ever done well is make fun of himself on Saturday Night Live, and that is not a qualification to be president in the slightest. Although I will say that even though I do not agree with conservatives politically, I do like it when they can let go and laugh at themselves. Mike Huckabee’s appearance on Weekend Update stands up to multiple viewings.

When I was sick this weekend, I stayed in bed and watched the Hulu original “East Los High,” which I thought was going to be like “Stand and Deliver,” and it’s not. It’s a hard, hard look at what really goes on in predominantly Hispanic high schools in LA- teen pregnancy, priest abuse (high rates of Roman Catholicism in those neighborhoods), drug deals and territories. It is everything. Just everything. I wanted to get lost in a world that is not my own, and the story is gripping. The story changes from season to season because the class they’re talking about is the seniors, and as the cast graduates, new actors take the prime roles and the ones from the original cast move into the background. I highly recommend it, but it is unfiltered and raw. If I had a high schooler, I doubt I’d let them watch it unless they were 17 or 18 as well.

It just goes to show how much school districts are part of the problem, because they don’t have the resources to help. These kids have no sex education and think pulling out solves everything. There’s no PTA, because there are no parents with enough time off work to attend. There’s no way to keep these kids safe. They’re on their own, in completely dangerous situations that you’d never want to face with your own child.

And on that note, it’s time for a refill on my coffee and a trip to work. I have my own office, so I am willing to go there and hole up. I can be more productive, and if I’m going to feel like shit, why not feel like shit at work than feel like shit at home? It’s nice to know that even though I’m sick, I’m still making money.

love you miss you mean it. Bryn, if you see this before your lunch break, call me then. I can move stuff around.

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