Cold Coffee and a Caffeine Pill

I woke up at 0215 and didn’t get back to sleep until about 45 minutes later. Fell asleep to WTF (Alan Alda was the guest). Then, in the middle of the night, I had this dream that drove me so crazy it woke me up. I took a Benadryl last night (thus what I’m having now), which gives me extremely vivid dreams, so I doubt I would have remembered it save that.

First of all, you have to know that my dad is a ridiculous prankster. For instance we’re riding in our van and decide to stop at Mickey D’s:

One of Kelly’s school friends: I bet you won’t mess with the drive-thru guy.
Leslie (thinking): Oh Lort. Here we go.
Drive-thru Guy: Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?
Dad: You’ll have to excuse me. I have Alzheimer’s.
DTG: That’s ok, sir. Take all the time you need.
Dad: I’d like a cheeseburger.
DTG: Would you like fries with that?
Dad: With what……………… You’ll have to excuse me, I have Alzheimer’s.

This seriously goes on for what seems like fifteen minutes. I’m sure it was only two, but the passage of time makes it stretch. The guy was literally dumbfounded, had no idea what to do, and we’re all in the back of the van, crying we’re laughing so hard.

Now, I know this isn’t very PC, but it was almost 20 years ago, and you never dare a Lanagan. Never.

My dad is also an excellent whistler. He and his friend Paul once whistled the Vivaldi two-trumpet concerto just to see if they could do it. In terms of pranking and whistling, my dad will often whistle something beautifully and then end on a quarter-tone, which cracks me up every single time.

So last night in my dream, my dad was whistling something that ended in “Shave and a Haircut,” except he ended on the note corresponding with the word “two.” I woke myself up when I said, out loud, “RESOLVE THE CHORD!”

That’s my dad. Pranking me in my dreams.


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