The Hot List

The sapiosexual in me would like to think that gender plays no part in my choosing love. The lesbian part says, “not so fast, Leslie.” Only once in my life have I ever thought I would marry a man, and that was in eighth grade. By grade nine I was over it. However, that has not stopped me from having a lot of fun with this whole “federal conversion therapy” legislation Mike Pence has said he’s going to support. Here’s my status update on it:

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Here, in no particular order, are my choices in terms of what I view as a “hottie.” Let’s leave aside the fact that some of them are already married. The GLBTQI community will riot in the streets before this legislation even gets to the floor. Just having a little fun at Mike Pence’s expense.

  • Matt Damon
  • Matt Smith
  • Barack Obama
  • David Sutcliffe
  • Matt Czuchry
  • Benjamin Bratt
  • Hunter Parrish
  • Tony Goldwyn
  • Scott Foley
  • Jonathan Rhys Meyers
  • Anthony Bourdain
  • Donald Faison (weird only b/c he married into my family)
  • Noah Wyle
  • Mark Feuerstein
  • Nick Cannon
  • Ryan Reynolds
  • Chris Pratt
  • John Krasinski
  • James Franco

…and this is just the “no beers” list. Sorry if you didn’t make the cut and wanted to be on it. I’m sure there are another ten more if I put more thought into it.

I’m also completely grossed out by Mike Pence, but at the same time, I should put him on the list in a “be careful what you wish for” sort of way. It would be sweet revenge for all these newly straight women to pester him night and day. Maybe that’s the next new protest sign.

I should also point out that Matt Damon and James Franco are not on the list because of their hotness, but because they can write… although their faces don’t hurt their game. Pretty much the only thing that would be horrible about those situations is that writers are generally baskets of crazy, especially during the writing process. Two writers in the same house is probably a bad idea. Actually, not even “probably.” It is. Just trust me.

I am sure actors are the same way, so this list is a bad idea all around. However, if I put people I’ve actually met on this web site, it would be an even worse one.

I can just imagine it now….. “well, kiddo… that got weird.”

I’ve already been smacked handily for it, and to say that I was unprepared for the blowback is an understatement of gigantic proportions… although I know my guy friends, and I can imagine in detail their responses and facial expressions. Just one sentence and a wink.

Heyyyyy… how YOU doin‘?

3 thoughts on “The Hot List

  1. Pingback: We Need to Talk About Stephen – Stories That Are All True
  2. OK, Please give me a strong hint about the 8th grade guy. Your 8th grade teacher has an inquiring mind. It is the least you can do since you didn’t inform me I was a dyke back then. I had to wait til I was 68 for you to let me know via FB.

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    • Unfortunately, you wouldn’t have met him. He went to Johnston and we met at UT Band Camp in the greatest meet-cute of all time. I’d just shaved my legs with a blunt razor and was bleeding. He came up to me and said, “hi…. you look like you could use a Band-Aid.”

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