Words Fail Me

I can remember only a handful of times in my life when I’ve literally had nothing to say…. moments where words just won’t even form, and pictures were moving too fast to grab on. This wedding is one of them.  Everything is swirling so fast I can’t grab on to a picture to describe it, and things come to me in bits and pieces, not fully formed thoughts. So today even though I want to decompress, you’ll have to wait over time for tiny details, because that’s how they’ll come to me, too.

I will say that the wedding went even better than rehearsal, and I was relieved, because you never rehearse the vows beforehand. Cory told me that I was easy and clear in terms of the repetition, which meant so much to me. The only mistake I made, which in my mind is hilarious enough to laugh about now, is that I accidentally told Bryn to say Cory’s name instead of her own. Luckily, she caught it. I said, “well, you might want to say your own name…” We laughed, and moved on. That’s it. That’s the sum total of dumbass attacks on my part this trip. I had a script, and I stuck to it, most of the time without looking up, because I wasn’t the focus. They were. To do anything to take focus away from them and put it on to me was unwelcome in my eyes. I hope that I was able to be heard in the back, but even if I wasn’t, there’s only two people in the world that had to hear what I was saying.

It’s like there’s this secret between the three of us, that only the three of us know how much significance to put on that memory. For those few minutes while they were taking their vows, we were the only three people in the room (well, the outdoors, anyway). I am very glad that I came early and spent time with Cory before the wedding, because I wanted to know whether he was the guy that was capable of marrying someone like Bryn, and I say that with stardust in my eyes… she’s not a person, she’s an event. When Bryn asked me if I’d do the wedding, my first thought was oh God no…. but that was because at that moment all I saw were pigtail braids. She was obviously way too young to get married. As the pictures in my mind of her aged up, so did my response.

Luckily, Cory turned out to be every bit the man she promised, and I was happy to do the ceremony. It would have been awkward if I’d objected, so I am really glad I never had to… he’s just amazing. He had to find out whether I was for real, too. He was nervous about getting a friend to do the wedding he’d never met, because the stereotypical “my friend’s doing the wedding” usually means that it’s unprofessional and lacks legitimacy. He told me that he didn’t know how seriously I would take it. I did, though. Meaning I did take it seriously AND that I knew how solemn an occasion it would be for both of them ahead of time, and to hold on to that feeling.

The only thing I wish I had practiced was my handwriting. Their marriage certificate certainly wasn’t made any more beautiful by my carpal tunnel pile of garbage.

I did, however, manage to get it “write” on the one line that mattered.

Signature. Of. Officiant.

 

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