You know it’s bad when Facebook notifies you that you have followers who haven’t heard from you in a while. Well, I don’t have anyone else to nag me, so perhaps it’s for the best. My main problem is not knowing what to say. You’ve heard all the stories I have to tell right now… at least, the ones not involving pulling something out of my past (which is not UN-like pulling something out of my ass) and posting it. I don’t want to seem repetitive, as if this blog only has one theme, and that’s grief.
Whether it’s losing a spouse, a friend, or a mother, it’s all the same set of symptoms. My head and stomach hurt because my mind is sick…. in this case, sort of a passing bug. In the grand scheme of things, knowing me for a over a decade or just three or four years will eventually fade (I never would have made this statement if I hadn’t gotten married so young and now hardly remember anything about that life. I’m such a romantic I think every heartbreak will last until Jesus comes. #lookbusy).
My mother, not so much, which is why I used the words “sort of.” That is a deep, deep chasm that will never close. Everyone’s mind is sick with grief when they lose a parent. When I am psychosomatically ill outside of grief, when anyone asks me why I’m in pain or why I’m upset, I genuinely don’t know. At least right now, I absofuckinglutely do. It’s a nice change. Always nice to add some variety.
I’ve done a few things outside the house, but I am not one of those people who wants to post things like, “I had oatmeal today. It was nice. I also had coffee. It was also very nice.” Small talk drives me up the wall. So, in the interest of not boring either of us, I just didn’t write until I actually had something interesting. Today it was all about shopping for forecasted snow that may or may not materialize, but at some point, some will. It could be a little, or I could be up to my ass. We just won’t know until it gets here. #thankssnowbama
A few days ago, Dan took me shopping at The Torpedo Factory in Alexandria. I got some good shots, but unfortunately, none of us…. even though we are both ridiculously good looking. #bluesteel
I also went to apheresis week before last, and washed out, so spent the day taking pictures. They can probably say more than me. Perhaps I’d be a better writer if I’d learn not to use hashtags that don’t work. 😛