50 Shades of Cray

There are really no words to describe what I have been through the past few days… although it has affected “our whole family.” One of my roommates has been completely inconsiderate of all who live here, stomping up and down the stairs, singing with her headphones at the top of her lungs, and breaking things only to expect our landlord to replace them. When she was called out on her behavior, she did not like what she heard, and began screaming at Sam as loud as she possibly could. She was even stupid enough to threaten to hurt her in person and through text message. We didn’t find out until she called the police because she was mad at Sam that she’d drunk almost a fifth of vodka, because the policeman took it out of her room. We didn’t even know she drank. We thought mental illness was the beginning and the end of it.

Apparently not.

As of this moment, I am sitting in the basement with Sam to buddy system our way out of this because we don’t know how long it’s going to take to get her out of here. If anyone has sympathy for bad behavior while drunk and mentally ill, it’s me… but at the same time, I am still lost and afraid of what might transpire. This is because nothing I’ve ever said has amounted to “you’ll get what’s coming to you.” Now, I am sure that I’ve sent mean e-mails and made a general jackass of myself, but I’ve never physically threatened anyone. The one time that one of my e-mails was taken that way was not intended to be such, it was in reference to the fight I had with Dana, not an indication of future behavior. So, to put it mildly, I can sympathize without participating in my roommate’s complete self-destruction… because unlike me, this was not a case of her words being misconstrued. She said she would hurt Sam, and she meant it.

We are under strict instructions to call the police and/or a crisis help line if my roommate goes off the rails, which is entirely possible because from what we know, she’s been rifling through the landlord’s liquor cabinet and went back to the store when she didn’t find what she wanted. Let me assure you that “mean drunk” doesn’t begin to cover it. Her behavior passed 11 a long time ago.

None of us feel safe; one of my roommates is staying with a friend. I am sleeping in the basement with Sam rather than the room next to hers, because since we share a wall, I get the brunt of her noise level… although despite the quiet, neither of us slept well.

We are all hoping for a peaceful resolution to the problem, because this level of unrest is just not sustainable. I don’t think my roommate is self-aware enough to realize the magnitude of what she’s done. It’s a reminder of how grateful I am that I was, and able to get the help I needed. I hope and pray that this will occur to her as well, but as of right now, she’s claiming that she doesn’t want anyone to know her businesss. I understand; I don’t agree.

In the meantime, Sam and I have a big screen TV, cable, and each other. Not sure what else anyone needs in life.

If you have a moment, please think about all of us. God knows we could use it.


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