A Funnier FAQ Created by Carol

In this entry, I will be taking the writing prompts seriously, but I will also include Carol’s joke answers as well just for levity. Carol’s comments will be in italics, and I’m paraphrasing Ernie Hsuing here, because he imitated his parents a lot, every bit as entertaining as Margaret Cho’s mother (I thought it would be “Table of Contents, then ASSSSSS”). Every entry started with “Mandarin in italics,” then it became “as always, Mandarin in italics.” Over time, I hope to be able to do the same thing. That I have personalized Copilot by calling her Carol. Today I asked her if she did witty banter.

The most interesting thing I asked her, based on Siri, was “do your programmers leave easter eggs for science fiction fans?” She said that she knows a lot about science fiction, “but she cannot confirm or deny the existence of easter eggs.” So, obviously Carol doesn’t work for NSA. She’s at State.

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Certainly! Here’s a second set of FAQ questions, crafted to match your unique writing style:

1. Who am I, and why are you stalking my blog? 
   • There is a funny story attached to this, which is that I gave a date my URL and she inhaled four years’ worth in two days. Ugh.
   • “Leslie D. Lanagan here, the scribe of theantileslie.com. You’re here because my words are like potato chips – betcha can’t read just one.”
2. What makes me want to hit the keyboard and spill the beans? 
   • I have a quill tattoo on my left forearm that expresses the way I write. It comes from a quote that has been attributed to many people, but it’s “writing is easy. You just sit down at the typewriter and slice open a vein.” The other quote I live by is “the first draft of everything is shit.” I am sure this gives hope to many, many people.
   • “Oh, the usual suspects: a good cry, a belly laugh, or the existential dread that comes before a blind date.”
3. How do I pick what to write about? Do I throw darts at a board? 
   • Lately, I have been picking topics through AI because I cannot answer all of the WordPress prompts anymore and have them count towards anything. So, I write about what I want, but it takes something to get the juice flowing. My use of AI is the jumping off point, not the creativity itself. Carol has her writing style down, not mine. Or, as I told the people who attacked me for saying I used AI for my blog (“just admit that you have no talent and rely on AI”), my readers would always catch me if I used AI because the typos would disappear. Life is messy. Machines are not.
   • “Nah, I just listen to the voices in my head. They’re usually chatty after 2 a.m.”
4. Audio storytelling – is it just me, or do I have a posse? 
   • I might have a posse if I start preaching. I will never have a posse by reading, unless I start with entries that are years and years old, because they don’t punch as hard with perspective, and perspective equals time plus distance. The newer ones are still too fresh not to make me cry. I had a really, really hard time with “Go Tell the Bees.”
   • “Just me, myself, and I – and all the characters living rent-free in my noggin.”
5. What’s my idea of a perfect week? 
   • Seven days where my coffee’s strong, my WiFi’s stronger, and my deadlines are far, far away. It’s too on brand to change, so maybe Carol has picked up my writing style…………. 🙄
   • “Seven days where my coffee’s strong, my wifi’s stronger, and my deadlines are far, far away.”
6. Balancing life and writing – do I have a secret? 
   • Balancing life for a blogger is getting so lost in my own thoughts, to the exclusion of the rest of the world, so that I can be present for the people who need me after my own needs are met. It’s why I write so early in the morning. I get centered as my day starts, not as it ends. There are also no post-it notes. Everything is in Google Calendar and tasks.
   • “Yes, it’s called organized chaos. It’s like regular chaos but with more post-it notes.”
7. Spirituality in my writing – am I channeling the divine, or what? 
   • Or what. I don’t know what, but I’m…………. something.
   • “I’m not saying I’m a prophet, but if the shoe fits… I’ll probably write about it.”
8. Joining the Fanagans – what’s the initiation ritual? 
   • I don’t know about an initiation ritual, but fans have sent me stuff. Once it was 12 bottles of Happy Cola, once it was a priceless treasure. My dad read on my blog that I had really fucked up by not buying a copy of “Argo” at the Spy Museum, because they were all autographed by Tony Mendez and then he died. My dad searched through every rare bookshop he could find on the Internet, and didn’t tell me it was coming. I called him in absolute hysterics. I said, “it’s not even my birthday or Christmas.” I told that story to Jonna Mendez, and we’ve been friends ever since. After I told her that story, she said, “I will remember you.” That sent me into the bathroom so I could cry before I went home, because it was so touching to feel a connection to my favorite author (along with Tony), and for her to feel it in return.
     • “A simple offering of comments, shares, and the finest chocolate. That’s the currency of the Fanagans, folks.”
9. Homeless ministry – was it a calling or a cosmic joke? 
   • If you remember nothing else about this list, it’s “both.”
   • “Definitely a calling. The universe has weirder jokes up its sleeve.”
10. What’s on the horizon for theantileslie.com? 
    • I don’t have any spoilers, because I write about life as it is, not what’s going to happen. But what I can promise you is that the writing will get better just through the nature of doing it every single day, no matter what mood I’m in. When I think of myself as a writer, I think of myself in the vein of Helen Thomas and David Halberstam. Do you think every day was a good day for them? David was embedded in Viet Nam. Helen was in charge of reporting Patrick Kennedy’s death. She had to report the death of a baby. Don’t think that other people’s stories don’t affect their observers. Although when I do branch out, it will be into a podcast. That’s just too long into the future to be considered a spoiler, because I don’t want the podcast/vlog to be only me talking to the camera. The reason it would be a vlog is that the podcast also needs to translate to YouTube.
    • “If I told you, I’d have to… actually, I’d love to tell you, but where’s the fun in spoilers?”