In trying to show someone I wasn’t trying to “wear their skin,” I only made it worse, and I’m not talking about the current situation. I’m talking about what people I thought were okay with me tapped into historically the moment they started to punish me for having an opinion after I already said “I’m out.” You can tell me I have a weird obsession with your family and that’s valid. I will take the thousands of dollars I’ve spent collaborating with them somewhere else. What that jackass ruined was not my blog or my story, but my willingness to be a team player. I do not feel safe because he outright threatened me with consequences I will not absorb just for publishing to my audience what happened.
I overstepped, and I made a mistake. He says that I do not see that part of it. Motherfucker I was doubled over in tears while you were at a fucking birthday party DONT FUCKING TRY ME.
Relationships are not transactional, but I have a general sense of whether or not I am appreciated. What I learned from this experience is that I cannot make a mistake and move on. The narrative about me keeps running and gets worse, so whatever it is I thought I found is gone.
Tiina must know it because I haven’t heard from her and probably won’t. She cannot choose me in this situation and I told her not to. Just move on.
Stories That Are All True 