I Wish Lawns Were Emo So They’d Cut Themselves (Jul. 2007)

Katharin and I have broken up (please, no questions- respect our privacy), and as a result, I’m doing the yard work now. I have never, ever, EVER done yard work on a regular basis and it is its own kind of hell. And it’s really not the mowing. That’s easy. I still can’t edge in a straight line and the yard is kind of a wreck anyway. If it were up to me, I would just dig it up and redo the whole thing. I say this because I don’t think that there is any grass. It’s just one weed after another.

At least I don’t have to do it much longer. I’m going to move from the house to a studio downtown, hopefully in a highrise with a view. I actually found THE PERFECT studio on 17th and Morrison, just down from Artists Repertory Theater, with a view of the street and, in the distance, PGE Park (Go Beavers!). What was wrong with it?

No cats.

Dana says that I’m probably going to be hard pressed to find a studio downtown that will let me have a cat. I only have one response: NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!!!! So maybe I won’t move across the river. My friends won’t have to pay to park when they come visit me. I just like the idea of being able to hop a bus whenever I want and not have it take me an hour to get everywhere. It would make me much more fuel efficient in my very large, Oregon-UNapproved Jeep Grand Cherokee.

I don’t really need my Jeep much, anyway, because I’m not hauling around a ton of crap… or at least, I won’t be once I give back Holly’s grill and lawn mower. However, I still like having an SUV. I sit higher, it seems safer, and everyone is comfortable riding in it. I’m thinking I’ll stick with the Jeep until I pay it off, and then get an Escape Hybrid. Or, even better, a VUE hybrid… although they’re really fun to drive as a four-banger stick shift. Katharin and I had one for a weekend when we were shopping for a new car for her, and we both loved it. The stereo is BANGIN’.

On a whim, I decided to go to a car dealer and see if I could find anything I liked. I did, and I almost bought it… but not because the car was so great, because of nostalgia. Lindsay used to drive a Ford ZX5 hatchback in navy blue, and I found one exactly like it. The car even *smelled* like her, and I was telling the dealer when we were test-driving that the only thing it needed was a thorough coating of Paul Mitchell Wax Works on the steering wheel to be 100% authentic.

But I don’t need a new place to live and a new car all at once. I just need to keep looking for that perfect place, and the rest will follow. People keep asking me why I don’t want a roommate. I have had bad roommate experiences. Really bad. The only good part about having a roommate is that this time, it’s my lease, and THEY have to leave if it doesn’t work out. It’s just better all around if I live by myself. When I’m at home with roommates instead of people like friends, girlfriends, etc., I tend not to say a whole lot in favor of sitting in my room and playing on my computer. And there’s nothing like not getting along with your roommate and feeling trapped in your room.

Although here’s a thought. If I got too disgusted with the roommate and he/she was making me mad, they could mow the lawn.

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