Here are the questions I am asked THE MOST.
1. Why are you so vocal about saying Diane’s name?
A) She was a monster to me. 2) She was an angel to me. Those things are both true, and I choose to believe that she is my angel that I call upon in distress, rather than someone I would like to incinerate and leave them alive while I do it. I am trying to create peace around chaos instead of chaos owning my peace…. and those things come out on this web site in equal measure, because I cannot give her mercy all the time, and I cannot give her perpetual hate, either. I have tried both, and loving her despite her flaws works better than trying to stay angry at everything I lost, both when she opened the door to her heart and the day she slammed it shut. I am vocal because I cannot and do not deny the legacy she left on both sides of the spectrum.
2. Are you having an affair? Are you and Dana having problems?
Absolutely not! We both have huge flaws and quirks we try to merge every single day. However, because of my history, lately I have just been vomiting teenage emotions that look great on a teenager and not so much on me. So, newsflash. Girls are cute. I hear lesbians think that sometimes. However, there’s no one alive that makes my wedding ring burn. Dana and I were meant for each other, and have each other trained just the way we like it.
3. Why hasn’t Dana left you already?
Because she’s not as much of a bitch as you are.
4. Could you not write X?
No. No, I can’t. However, if you’re upset that I’ve posted something, you have the option to not be my friend. I cannot help that you are angry. What I can do is apologize if you’re hurt, and try to make amends. Take it or don’t. Most people choose “don’t.” It’s very painful when people get angry and fight with me over what I’ve written. But you know what’s even worse than being embarrassed or ashamed of something I’ve written? Shutting down completely just because you were mad about something. Taking down Clever Title Goes Here was a split-second decision. It was, and then it wasn’t. I didn’t write for four years after that, not even to myself. When you come after me because of something I’ve written, approach me how you want, but know that every time you do it, you’re taking a piece of my self-worth, because I didn’t put anything out there to hurt anybody, only to tell the story that is mine. If you’re caught up in it, you’re part of my life… and you get to choose whether you want that or not. You are allowed to have your feelings about what I’ve written, and I will care about them. But at the same time, I will not go to that place of hopelessness again… the piece of me that says my story doesn’t matter.