Network Security

Dana is getting cable/internet this morning, and she asked me to lock it down for her the moment the cable guy left. I told Aaron that was the sexiest thing I’d ever heard her say to me. I take personal pride in locking down routers, because when we lived in Portland, there was a hacker that lived across the outdoor hallway from me and I had him run all sorts of attacks on me to see if my passphrase was secure. He told me that I’d done the best job possible…. make a passphrase that took several days to decrypt. He just gave up. I’m thinking something along the lines of “th1s 1s not your free internet connection, Jackass!” Also, have to think of a good name for the SSID. Mine is “Leslie’s House of Chang.” This is because the first time I went shopping for a rice cooker, Dana was with me at Fred Meyer. She picked one up and it made, like 16 cups of rice at once. I said, “Dana. I need a rice cooker, not “LESLIE’S HOUSE OF CHANG.” Dana laughed so hard that she sat down on the bottom shelf to laugh, and then slid onto the floor from there.

She wants to take my old one, “Maison du Chats.” It’s sentimental to me, but the people for whom it is sentimental are long gone, so why not regift? I think it fits better with Dana’s personality than mine. I have learned since giving Dodger to Dana that I am not really a cat person. I tried to be a cat person for a really long time. All my girlfriends have had cats, etc. But there came a point at which my preppy clothes looked like ASS all the time because of all the cat fur I’d have to take off to get them presentable. No ma’amela, Pamela. I love Aaron’s cat (Josie named her Blackalicious), because she is barely above kitten age and is just the biggest ass clown you can possibly imagine. She constantly bites off more than she can chew, and it makes me root for her because she goes up against impossible odds all day long because she thinks she’s so much bigger than she is……………… #prayingonthespaces It reminds me of me because I often think I am bigger than I am and bite off more than I can chew and then recede into myself… when just like for Blackalicious, things will turn out so much better for me if I just wait to grow a little bit.

I’m not really a dog person, either, but I am more of a dog person than a cat person. I didn’t find this out about myself until I lived alone for a long time. Having a dog got me out of the house. Having a dog got me to meet my neighbors. Having a dog made it where I didn’t have an excuse to isolate. She was a rat terrier crossed with a dauchsund, Betty. Everyone that reads her name that met her will sigh for a moment and say, “I miss Betty,” because that’s what they do in front of me. When Betty and I lived together, I was the Rhoda.

And that is how I became an expert at Network Security. Apparently, all you need is a really strong passphrase and a dog, because it depends on what kind of network you’re trying to join.


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