Believe it or not, the title of this blog entry is actually a URL. The one I use most frequently is, because my favorite is really, really caffeinated black tea with either CoffeeMate or whole milk. I just don’t think green tea suits me, because it doesn’t have that thick and rich mouth feel of which I’ve become so fond. It has literally replaced coffee for me. The only time I have coffee is when I’m in two places. The first is La Madeleine, because their French roast is not to be missed under any circumstances, and Einstein Bros. bagel shop, because they give free refills and their coffee is better than Starbucks. I mean, of course Starbucks has good espresso drinks, but when you’re talking about plain drip, most of the time Starbucks over-roasts their beans and you have to get it fresh to make it taste really good. If you want Starbucks drip, buy the beans and take them home to ensure you get a fresh cup every morning. When it sits, it is really, really shitty. Oh, and I forgot. I have a third place. The coffee at Panera bread is revolutionary, because they’re honest. They actually put signs on the coffee to tell you how long it’s been sitting there so you know which one is the freshest and which one they’re about to refill. Their refills are also free. It’s good to know where there are free refills, and which stores don’t mind writers using their stores for offices. Panera- not so fond. Einstein’s is usually empty, so they don’t care. And at Starbucks, I have Larry (remember Larry?).

I am trying so hard to get a real job. Yesterday, I applied for a cook’s position at a vegan restaurant because I want to learn to cook vegan food (it is revolutionary). Then, last night I applied for a job as a busboy at Busboys and Poets, because I would be in good company with Langston Hughes, the “busboy poet.” Plus, the no. 14 bus goes right to it and that’s the one I catch at the end of my street. It’s very close to the Takoma metro station, although I believe they have other locations.

Why am I applying to these low-end jobs? Because I’m a writer. I cannot have a job where I am on call, have homework, or have to spend half the week traveling. If I get one of those jobs, it will come with a ridiculous amount of money, so I will have to consider it. Like I’ve said before, I’ve applied everywhere from restaurants to Cisco. I am not ruling anything out. However, my standard of living is ridiculously low for the DC area. My house is all bills paid, and I am on Medicaid. ANY job will cover me.

I am hoping that I will find someone that will call me back, because the situation is getting dire. My parents help me out to the extent that they are able, but I am too old for this shit. I want to be on my own, so that I can be really proud of something. I am really proud of this web site, and I had a donor yesterday that said it was important for me to keep up my pro status. She’s a better writer than me. That one line says it all.

I don’t know what I’m going to do with the money yet, because this web site doesn’t need anything and I don’t need anything in terms of professional development since the last donation allowed me to buy all my Linux books and a membership to LinuxJobber. I think I will let it sit until the domain name needs to be re-upped, because I like my URL a lot, even though I didn’t come up with it, exactly. My friend Chason started calling himself “theantichason” online a million years ago, and I liked it so much that the moniker fit me as well, with the exception of my name not being Chason, kind of a pity because I like the name so much.

In a way, I am steeping myself. I am using this time while I don’t have a job to read and write as much as I can, because the words of Will Hunting about the education you could get for $1.50 in late fees at the public library have stuck with me like a mantra. For God’s sake, I am reading Ulysses, greatly considered to be one of the most difficult novels to wrap your brain around in the history of the world. Some people say it is genius. Some people say it is madness. I think it is somewhere in the middle.

I am also still wrapped up in the Revolutionary War, because 1776 and John Adams are incredible. I love David McCullough like I love Happy Cola. After I finish those, I am planning on reading Ben Franklin by Walter Isaacson, because I loved Steve Jobs so much. After that, I’m planning on skipping to Edmund Morris, because I read his biography on Reagan, called Dutch, and it was outstanding. In fact, I don’t have it with me, but in my father’s library in Sugar Land I have an autographed copy of it. I do not agree with Reagan politically on nearly anything, but he is a very interesting man. Did you know he was a lifeguard when he was young? Betcha didn’t. 😛

As you can see, I love reading biographies of great people, because I want to be a great people. It seems logical that in order to be a great person yourself, you need to read how other great people did it. I mean, Walter Isaacson may never write Leslie Lanagan, but it’s not in my nature not to try. Some of my sermons have been very widely shared, and the reason I haven’t preached in a while is because of the Klonopin. I was taking one in the morning and one at night, and it made me so sleepy I couldn’t do anything but take a shower and get dressed. Seriously, it was like being the Indian in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I was dressed, but I couldn’t really talk. I was just this zombie, a walker trapped in a body that was still alive.

I stopped the Klonopin during the day and I came back into myself.

Yesterday I went to Macy’s because my mom gave me a gift card to that store, too, because I told her that I wanted to get my birthday wish in early, which was a gift card to Macy’s and nothing else. Just load that bitch up. She left an envelope on my dresser among my other mail and of course, I didn’t find it. She had to call me and tell me to look for it. When I opened the envelope, there were three gift cards- one to Starbucks and two to Macy’s. I have no idea how in the hell she got the Macy’s gift certificates. It was like magic.

So, anyway, I took the gift card to Macy’s and went to the little boys’ department. This is why I like Macy’s so much. They have men’s clothes in miniature that fit my small frame. I got three Tommy Hilfiger shirts (which Meag used to lovingly call Tommy H, so technically I got three “Tommy H” shirts). The first is a red and white pinstripe oxford, and the second and third are the same shirt in different colors because they were so damn comfortable. They’re both long-sleeved, which I need because I love t-shirts and yet, I’m always cold (my friend Matthew used to call me “Leslie No-Blood”). They’re both color-blocked in horizontal stripes. One is navy and grey, and the other is red and pink. Seriously, I have never had a more comfortable t-shirt in my life, which is why I couldn’t get away with only buying one. The red and pink is kind of loud, but I decided I liked it because it plays against type. Most of the time, I wear blue and navy. And that’s all. I have branched out lately with red, orange, and teal… but even that is pushing it. The thing that pushed me to buy the red and pink t-shirt is that I knew it would look incredible with either my navy hoodie or my black jacket. I’m trying to buy a Garanimals-type wardrobe, where everything is classic and I can pull just about anything out of my closet and it will match. I am succeeding mightily. The one piece of clothing that I want and do not have is a blue blazer. A size 16 in the boys’ department is only $99.50, which is a great price considering what I’m buying. All of them are name brand, such as Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein. I’ve already got one, but it is black, and I don’t wear black that much because when I’m in black pants I feel like a waiter. The red pinstripe Oxford and black blazer may change that. I would kill in that outfit, especially since I have blue wire-frame glasses. God, that is so DC I can barely stand it. I’ll wear it the next time I hang out with Pri Diddy and Elena so they can tell me if I’m hot enough and that outfit is approved. I have a black leather belt and shoes, too. Are you impressed yet?

I still have some money on my Macy’s gift card. I may need a pair of black Chucks. I can get away with Chucks and Dockers just about anywhere. Speaking of which, I have brown leather Chucks with brick red laces that would make you kvell. They’re made of the same kind of leather as the helmets in Leatherheads, and the tongue is sewn in so that my feet never get wet if I step in a puddle. Now do you see why I have hipster tendencies? I have brown pants and brown Chucks. It’s a thing.

I was at church a couple weeks ago and met this couple that I’d like to hang out with socially. We had a great time talking about being hipster, because I told them I’d lived in Portland relatively recently and that I wasn’t hipster myself, but definitely had hipster tendencies, especially since I was wearing brown pants at the time. The husband said, “oh, don’t worry. Brown pants doesn’t mean you’re hipster. It just means you don’t work on The Hill.” I nearly spat out my tea.

It’s true. I am definitely more Takoma Park than Capitol Hill. For those not in the know, Takoma Park is the equivalent of what Montrose used to be in Houston and Hawthorne in Portland is now.

I think it’s time to get back to reading. I’ve caught you up on everything that’s going on in my world right now, especially since I am wearing the most comfortable t-shirt in the world. Seriously. Buy an expensive t-shirt. You won’t notice the difference between an expensive one and a cheap one until you do. You just want to luxuriate in it and never take it off.

Mine already smells.

I need another cup of tea before I start reading. Ulysses requires it. In fact, it makes me thirsty for tea because they drink tea in the book. Let me tell you my favorite line so far since I just finished the Outlander series. The setup is that one of the guys is an English whiny bitch:

The Sassenach requires his morning rashers.

I highlighted it just for fun.

Oh, and one more note. I really feel that Stephen Dedalus is Joyce himself, because the writing in Ulysses is so much more polished that it’s like Stephen grew as Joyce did.

It’s like he was steeping.


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