I Just Need More Time

I thought that it would be easy just to come home and write about the game, but it’s not. There are so many things I need to process. The short of it is that we shut them out 3-0, but there’s more to it than that. So many shots on goal, so many moments where the crowd was to their feet. The game was disappointing in some ways, great in others. I’ll write more about it later, but it seemed like they were playing very lazily until we hit minute 81. I want a game where it is wrestling it out for all 90 minutes, every player giving 110 percent. I also like it when the entire game is 0-0 because both teams just Will. Not. Give. and it comes down to penalty kicks. I said that to the kid behind me, and he said, “nuh unh. It’s overtime and THEN penalty kicks.” I laughed and said, “you’re RIGHT.”

There’s more little anecdotes like that, but I’ll save them until I’ve had some time to think about what I want to say in depth, especially since this could be for DC United’s blog as well. I asked the new member team how people get press passes, and they said they didn’t know, but they’d find out. I don’t know if bloggers are allowed, but they are in some markets, and it doesn’t hurt to ask.

It’s also hard to believe that I’ve gone this long without contacting Argo, because like I’ve said before, usually what happens is that within a few days of each fight, we’re back in contact making up. But I realized that this time, the “make up text” must come from her, because I’ve had enough of feeling like I’m imposing on her life. You talk to the people you want to talk to, you make time for the people you need as much as they need you. I am walking away not because I don’t want her in my life, it’s that the relationship has lost its equilibrium and I’m not going to beg…. again. 😛

It’s hard to care and not care all at the same time. I am not waiting for anything, just trying to process the past as I know it, which is enormous unto itself without further need of contact. That’s the part I really care about- comforting myself, self-soothing until this feels like a part of my life that has passed, but not for the worst.

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