It’s a holiday.
Or it should be.
Something is blooming, and I am just the right kind of dumbass that forgot to take her Zyrtec for the last week, so I have no immunity to it. So today I remembered my medication because *I* was blooming. I will probably stop on the way to the office and get some Sudafed PE. I also took some Excedrin migraine to stop the swelling/pain in my “mask” and get some much-needed caffeine on board.
In other news, because the word “mask” reminded me, I didn’t go to choir last night. My therapist and I decided together that it wasn’t worth it, for a multitude of reasons. It will be worth it in the future, but for right now, it’s a rat’s nest of triggers to be avoided entirely. This is because if you know Diane and me at all, you know that music is a huge reminder of all that has happened, and it makes me go into fight or flight. There are certain pieces where I cannot breathe all the way down and I break out in a cold sweat. It becomes an out and out panic attack which comes on whether I’ve taken Klonopin or not. Anxiety that severe isn’t worth that much of my time every week. So, I don’t know if anyone from my church is reading, but if they are, don’t take it personally. I told Sam, my accompanist, that I’d love to collaborate with her on some solo stuff (because I have control over what’s sung). She excitedly said yes, so I’ll give you a heads up when the pieces are ready.
Ron asked me once if I minded if he showed up. I don’t mind if all my readers show up at once. Come on in. The gate is swung wide. I go to Christ Congregational Church at Indian Spring & Colesville. It’s always nice to have friendly faces in the crowd, and I’d like to think I’m worth it. Judge for yourself…… The piece I’ve linked to is the one I’m proudest of, but at the same time, I’d like another shot at it because I was so sick that day… again with allergies and congestion so bad that I woke up with complete laryngitis and sat in the shower for 45 minutes until I could talk again. In light of that, it is the most perfect recording for which I could have asked.
I sang it as a solo in the 9:00 service, and at 11:00, I introduced the choir. At 9:00, I blew the roof off the place and all my adrenaline ran out at once. I was still good at 11:00, but it was a moment of “shit. I still have one more service to do and all I want is to go home.” My favorite comment on that solo comes from The Divine Mrs. B, who said that I should have an oboe player follow me wherever I go. I also remember Dana’s mom grabbing me and saying, “that VOICE! Where did it come from?” Years and years of hard work, mostly. Joseph Painter was the one whose voice lessons opened me up to that caliber, and I thank him wholeheartedly.
I love doing solo stuff, but my favorite is being in a quartet. As a soprano, I’m kind of “lead trumpet player” of the group, and in this piece, I am in the antiphonal quartet in the balcony.
And on that note (see what I did there?), it’s time to leave for the office. I wish Jim Halpert was there. 😛