- I needed to go to the mall for one thing (hiking boots, because snow isn’t far away) and a haircut. On the way there, I remembered a Facebook post I’d seen from my friend Stacey about a Finnish metal band for kids called Hevisaurus and decided to look them up on Spotify. So I’m driving down the road not knowing what the hell I’m listening to in terms of lyrics, just trying to match pitch and phonics. I found a song I really dug and put it on repeat. When I got to the parking garage, I learned that I screamed “Merry Christmas” for four miles…… angrily.
- I am under no illusion that I will do serious hiking in said boots, I just wanted extra tread to keep from breaking my ass this winter. I was scandalized to find out that the Spiderman hiking boots at Payless only come up to size 4. I love that movie so much, especially because Jim Norton has a bit part. If you know me in real life, might I suggest either not clicking on that link or at the very least, having a drink first? And because I know he searches for his name in every post, James, you’re in that one. If I don’t get ordained, you know my ecclesiastical council found it.
- Before Pri Diddy left, she gave me one of her college sweatshirts, and I have been wearing it basically non-stop since. If I can’t give her a hug, everyone thinking I went to Tech is the next best thing. The icing on that cake is that it fits snugly, so it’s extra warm. All my other hoodies are at least two sizes too big, allowing cold wind to blow up my back….. perhaps instead of using profanity, now I’ll switch to saying “Merry Christmas” in Suomi….. angrily.
Stories That Are All True 
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