It’s Meme Time

40 odd things about me . . . I got this from Facebook. Don’t judge me.

  1. Do you put ketchup on hotdogs?
    • It depends. I don’t eat traditional hot dogs very often. I eat mostly plants. My favorite hot dog would be a veggie sausage and almond cream cheese with hot sauce.
  2. Choice of pop?
    • Dr. Pepper Zero, but I also enjoy sparkling water as long as it’s plain seltzer or club soda (the difference is salt).
  3. Do you put salt on watermelon?
    • Yes, and it is every bit as delicious as my favorite candy, chocolate covered pretzels.
  4. Can you swim?
    • Quite well, actually. I was physically delayed as a child, so I took a class called “Water Babies” at six months old. Because there’s only been half a year of my life that I didn’t know how, practice alone would have done it. However, my first partner was a college swimmer, and she helped me to get even better.
  5. How do you eat your steak?
    • Seared over an EXTREMELY hot stove and baked in the oven. I let it rest and then finish with butter. I like a good crust on it with spices, but the spices don’t have to be fancy. Just salt, pepper, and garlic. That combo is the end of Ratatoullie for me. It’s being in my late 20s and falling in love with Dana. Warmth envelops me, because at the time I thought I’d been made for her. I may have to recreate the dish because I had a thought that really stopped me. “What if I’ve been avoiding steak all these years because I don’t want to feel pain?” When I taste that kind of home, it’s devastating that it isn’t still around. At the same time, it feels good to remember that home and what it was like to live there day in and day out. If it sounds weird that I would attach something so profound to steak and spices, remember that both Dana and I were professional cooks.
  6. Favorite type of food?
    • I don’t have one. I just have foods I eat consistently. If I say something is my favorite, though, I mean it in terms of individual items. I am very brand loyal, because companies that make vegan food all do it differently. If you find something you like, buy 12.
  7. Do you believe in ghosts?
    • I am not a person that tries to explain the unexplainable. When people tell me their stories, I believe them. My experience of the world is not theirs. In my own life, I have not had ghostly experiences, but I do talk to ghosts all the time. I just know that they’re in my head, and I have divided off one part of my brain and I’m having a conversation with it. I especially do this with people I’ve been close previously, but for whatever reason are no longer in my life. For instance, sometimes Dana and I go for coffee in my dreams just to catch up. It’s real intelligence creating the script and not artificial. I have a library of Dana. A chat history that if it was printed would take 25 years to read and digest. It’s practically an uploaded consciousness of who she was seven years ago. Therefore, I can take old jokes and build on them as easily as “we” can rehash old conversations that have different responses due to the passage of time. I dream all the time about what I would have done differently. This is because I believe that an apology is nothing without changed behavior. I couldn’t save the real relationship from collapsing under its own weight, but what I can do is be genuine with the fictional version of her and really listen to what she says, because there may be wisdom I missed the first time she said something, or the new response brings her closer to me- but only the dream version…… getting on a plane and going to get her? Worst. Idea. Ever. #comicbookguy In terms of how I want to proceed with the real Dana? She has been one of the great loves of my life and I would like to continue loving her, so I think no contact is the right call.
  8. What do you drink in the morning?
    • Insanely strong black tea with milk and sugar, although most of the time it’s an energy drink slammed while walking out the door. I need to take the extra time to make the tea with whole fat milk and real sugar. I’ve lost nearly five pounds in the last month, and not in a good way. I didn’t have five pounds to lose. I remember what being curvy was like. I’ve never looked more like a woman. Then a crazy amount of shit happened and my reaction to it was to shut down and stop eating. I developed coping mechanisms using protein shakes because I could bring myself to drink. I don’t know why I have gotten like this in the past, and my best guess is that when things spiral out of control, I get ADHD hyperfocus to what I can allow myself to dictate. I haven’t gotten close to that level, but my appetite has waned for about a hundred different reasons. It’s amazing how self conscious and annoyed I am that I look like a teenage boy from a distance and yet have been entirely dismissive of putting on weight. That it would happen naturally over time. I’m tired of waiting. Stay tuned.
  9. Can you do 100 push-ups?
    • In another life, maybe. Now, I would make a formal announcement if I was capable of one.
  10. Summer, Winter, Spring, or Fall?
    • It used to be fall, because I lived in a very hot climate. Fall and winter hold a special place in my heart because of it. I didn’t grow up with snow, and DC has a lot of it at times. The District is brilliant any time of year, but it is stunning in the spring. The cherry blossoms around the Tidal Basin are unique and beautiful.
  11. Your favorite animal?
    • I haven’t asked her name, but there is a pygmy hippopotamus at The National Zoo that I’m pretty sure is in love with me. It’s asex/aro, but we make it work. Seriously, though. I know that animals don’t process emotion like humans, but she knows that if she plays around and gives me a huge gap-toothed grin, I will take her picture.
  12. Tattoos?
  13. Do you wear prescription glasses?
    • My problems with sight are mostly neurological, so I don’t truly need glasses to read unless the print is tiny, but they help.
  14. Do you have a fear?
    • Not anymore. It’s a spectrum. My biggest fear used to be that someone would find out my biggest fear. I fixed it.
  15. Do you have a nickname?
    • A million of them if we’re talking one on one, but nothing that has stuck universally. I like it when people call me by my last name instead of first, but it’s not like it happens all the time
  16. Rain or Snow?
    • Snow. Raindrops are heavy. Snowflakes are not.
  17. Can you change a tire?
    • Yes, but I can’t think of a case in which I would want to. It’s not my know-how, it’s my size. A 124 pound person is never going to be very good at changing a tire. I will help you chain up, though.
  18. Favorite flower?
    • Roses, any type or color. I lived in Portland, Oregon for 12 years. I’m particular to fire and ice- a blood red to white gradient.
  19. Can you drive a stick?
    • I have only bought one car in my life that was an automatic.
  20. Can you whistle?
    • Yes. My favorite tune is one of the trumpet parts from Vivaldi’s Two Trumpet Concerto.
  21. Where were you born?
    • At Mother Frances hospital in Tyler, Texas…. with the statue of Jesus outside directing traffic.
  22. Surgeries?
    • Nothing notable………… yet.
  23. Shower or Bath?
    • A bath, time permitting. Shaving is my moment of Zen.
  24. Last song you heard?
    • Not a song, an orchestral piece called “Clearing Iranian Airspace” by Alexandre Desplait used in the movie “Argo.” I listen to that score on repeat because I’m such a music person that if the music is new, I cannot focus on anything else. The writing has to come first.
  25. Broken bones?
    • Nothing major. A couple of bones, but none needed surgery and healed quickly. It was forgettable.
  26. How many TV’s in your home?
    • I rent a room in a huge house rather than having my own apartment because I discovered I was less lonely that way. So technically I own one display that has an over the air antenna with every channel available except the one that runs Jeopardy!, a desktop PC, and an Amazon Firestick 4K that I’ve hacked to run Kodi and some amazing plugins, like getting ad-free YouTube through the official YouTube Kodi addon. It is still worth it to purchase YouTube premium to block ads. If you have YouTube Premium and you visit any web site that references a YouTube video while you’re logged into Google Services, ads are blocked on *that* web site as well.
  27. Worst Pain?
    • Two things are competing in my mind. The first is the knowledge that Dana and I had a wonderful life together, and we did an excellent job of running it into the ground. The rock bottom part is twofold. The first was loving Dana to the ends of the earth and wanting to protect her, and knowing I couldn’t because I wouldn’t be able to lie if someone asked me how I got an ugly bruise that hurt because she jammed my eye socket. I carried physical pain for a couple weeks, phantom pain for at least a week after that, and being hit by my wife altered my pathology permanently. I had never told anyone that I have lingering triggers. After I told someone who didn’t deserve it, I published that pain and fear instead of keeping it to myself. The second is that my emotional abuser set up in me an undercurrent of sex and friendship- that it was the same thing when it wasn’t. I am sorry to every woman I’ve ever sexually harassed by idiocy and not malice. It doesn’t take away from the fact that I hurt you that I came by it honestly. My apologies particularly to to a Marine, a Seaman, and a car wash attendant I completely confused and offended because I thought I was very, very funny. They didn’t. It’s a tight spot to be a victim and a perpetrator of something of something as huge and dark as sexual harassment.. I have worked through my issues and I’m a better person now, but they won’t know it. I am part of the problem and I see it. Our relationship is over, but I see you and I’m apologizing profusely even though it doesn’t make a difference. It changes me to really feel remorse.
  28. Do you like to sing?
    • So much so that I have trained for classical auditions that would surprise you given the way I look. I have a voice I can make as straight tone as a Westminster Abbey choir boy, or add the vibrato of a round-heeled diva. I’m not Renee Fleming or anything, but I get around (I love Tupac as much as I love Bach)
  29. Morning person or Night…?
    • Morning. I’m so hyped when I wake up that by 0600 I’ve written enough to be done for the day, and I don’t have coffee or energy drinks until noon because it’s noon to 1700 that break me.
  30. Are your parents still alive?
    • One of them is. My mother died in October of 2016. It’s a whole other thing when you lose your first apartment.
  31. Do you like to go camping?
    • Sort of. During the day it’s fine. At night I get too cold. I would rather make a fire in someone’s backyard.
  32. What do you binge watch?
    • Science fiction. I’ll try anything once, but particular favorites are Firefly, Orphan Black, and Doctor Who.
  33. Pumpkin or pecan?
    • Neither. A sundae with pumpkin ice cream and apple pie in it with pecans on top. I think Cold Stone Creamery makes something like that, but it’s not vegan, FYI.
  34. Add photo of yourself.

Doing Blue Steel with my tiny phone still attached.

No, there aren’t actually 40 questions, neither are there people who can count on Facebook.

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