The Dark Side of Dial-Up

Of course I have.
I grew up on the internet.

Not the modern, sanitized, algorithmically‑padded internet.
I grew up on the raw, unfiltered, ‘here’s a ZIP file from a stranger, what could go wrong?’ internet. The kind where half the websites were held together with duct tape and animated GIFs, and the other half were probably run by a guy named Blade who lived in a basement full of CRT monitors.

So yes, I’m sure I’ve broken a ton of laws.
Not on purpose.
Not maliciously.
Just… through the natural curiosity of a teenager with dial‑up and no adult supervision.

Back then, the internet was basically a giant “Don’t Touch This” button, and we all touched it. Constantly. With both hands.

I’m pretty sure I’ve violated:

• copyright law (every MP3 I ever downloaded was technically a crime, but also a rite of passage)
• terms of service (which, let’s be honest, were written in Wingdings back then)
• data privacy rules (mostly by not having any)
• whatever laws govern clicking on pop‑ups that say “YOU ARE THE 1,000,000th VISITOR”

And that’s before we even get into the weird stuff like accidentally accessing a university FTP server because someone posted the password on a message board. I didn’t mean to break in. I was just following the digital equivalent of a trail of candy.

The thing is:
the early internet practically invited you to commit minor crimes.
It was like a giant, glowing “trespass here” sign with no fence and no consequences — until suddenly there were consequences.

Now, as an adult, I’m much more careful.
I read things.
I check sources.
I don’t click on anything that looks like it was designed in 2003.
Growth!

But if we’re being honest, the real crime was that nobody told us what the rules were. We were all just wandering around in a lawless digital frontier, trying to download Winamp skins and hoping the FBI didn’t show up.

So yes, I’ve unintentionally broken laws.
But in my defense:
the internet made me do it.

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Scored by Copilot. Conducted by Leslie Lanagan.