Tripping

I’m dating someone now, and I forgot to ask her what her name was.

No, really.

This is a hilarious story. She posted on Threads that Ruby Rose had left her a comment and that it was some kind of mating call because it gave her status in the lesbian community…. or something like that. I said, “I didn’t know that was a thing. She’s left me comments as well. Touch me.” I meant “I am incredibly cool.” She said, “so I guess we’re like dating now?” It is the kind of thing that happens to me with frequency. The fact that she didn’t get the “touch me” reference probably means that she’s younger than me, but at this point I will go out with anyone once.

I said, “eh. Why not?”

She said she would make arrangements for the U-Haul, clearly continuing the bit. I said, “I live in Baltimore. I hope you like it.” She said, “I’m 30 minutes away from you.”

Oh.

I didn’t even pretend to play it cool. I was just like, “well, then. We should meet up.” She was equally authentic and we made plans. She’s following me on Threads now, so I assume she knows I’m a blogger. If she doesn’t, that’s the first conversation I always have with people I date, because that is a story that cannot unfold too fast. My words quickly become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I sink myself over things that people inferred from the text, not what I meant when I wrote it. Good boundaries are essential, and the way I know that is from many years of bad boundaries around what I do.

Live and learn.

But for now, it’s not that serious. We’re going to a state park when I get back from Annapolis. This means something light and fun and I’ll be able to take pictures for you guys…. not of us, but of the land. I do not care that I do not know her from Adam. It will be nice have someone to go to the river with instead of going by myself, even if I don’t know her when I first get there. I am a good enough conversationalist that it will be fun no matter who shows up, and clearly, she’s already funny. If this works out, Ruby Rose better put on her dancing shoes because we will celebrate her in the manner she deserves.

(Ruby’s work in Wentworth made me a fan for life. We’ve connected on grief and politics via Threads. Whenever I get Australian flags in my stats, I just assume they’re all her, from Sydney to Melbourne to Canberra to Perth. I don’t think she lives there anymore, it’s just the vibe.)

But in order to find out how, when, and where to celebrate Ruby, we have to meet first. My date lives up near the PA border now, but I moved to Baltimore and she moved there from Silver Spring, so we have that whole entire era to connect on- mostly how much Silver Spring has changed so much in the time we’ve lived there. I’m so curious about her experience, whether she was closer to downtown, closer to Takoma Park, etc. My neighborhood was just so full of life- I was right near a shopping center that had a little bit of everything, including a Starbucks that became my office. I do not think that you will ever need to know this, but for history it’s the one near Colesville and University.

Hey maybe one day there will be pilgrimages to the places where I’ve worked. Stranger things have happened. Dolly Parton became a saint on The Orville and bless Seth McFarlane for his forward thinking; it was a beautiful tribute she got to see before she died (if she did), and Seth is smart enough to have thought of that.

It’s one of the reasons I write about Jonna Mendez so much. She’s still here to correct the record, and she is an enormous historical figure. The former Chief of Disguise during the Cold War will absolutely be remembered forever, and I want to be a part of the record that says she has an enormous heart, is the most genuine person you’ll ever meet, and the absolute kindest without being polite.

She doesn’t spare your feelings, she tells you what she thinks and expects you to manage your own feelings. Sounds like the writer I want to be someday. I’ll let you know if I ever get there. I am looking forward to going to a lake, river, or beach with a new person that could be a friend, could be a spark. Who knows?

The last several times I’ve met someone over the internet, connecting in person was fine. It didn’t lead to anything lasting, but it was a solid introduction to chat for a few minutes online before settling down to coffee. Sometimes, a first date was just that, a first date. Sometimes, a first date was, “I’m not feeling romance, but I love your energy and I want to be around you.” Valid. Oh, so valid. I need friends, so I am not hoping for anything out of this date but that.

Of course if she sparks me, that’s okay, too. I am in a place where I have room for that. But bare minimum, what I need is someone who is local that wants to go do things with me. We can go get ice cream without holding hands if that’s what you want. Just let me stuff my face with custard and lemon ice. We’re good.

I just want the first date to be low-key, and this is the time of year to enjoy a state park and a Wawa feast packed in a cooler.

I should introduce her to the caramel affogato if she is unfamiliar. I personally feel that I have not done anything in this life to deserve coffee that good.

No one has.