I Have Never Written Anything People Want to Read

How do you write what people actually want to read?

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It’s not true. Mico has proved to me that almost a million of you have read me and that’s great. But having web stats that reach that high does not affect me in the slightest because I do not see it. There are no paparazzi waiting for me, no one comes up to me on the street, etc. I just exist to the tune of “everyone reads me at one point or another, but I am only moderately famous in China.”

  我在中国有点儿名气  

Microsoft Copilot translation for the inevitable joke t-shirt.

By not paying attention to what my readers want, I have pierced The Great Firewall. My Chinese hits are not bot behavior. I am being read in small college towns all over the mainland, and I am so grateful. The belief that no one is reading is what keeps people coming in the door, because a writer gains a different color to their voice if and when they know they’re being watched. Defending my right to observe has not come cheap, I will tell you that. Slings and arrows have been thrown at me because I’ve thrown them at others. What is different about being a writer is that people give your words authority that they do not have.

This is only the story according to me, and you always have your own. When you read, you are not required to agree with me that what I wrote is what you believe happened. You need to believe that I believe this is what happened, and that is the end of it. Someone else in these pages, whether it’s Dana, Aada, Counselor, or Tiina, is going to have their own take over what our relationship did and did not do. Listen to them. I am not an authority. I am one hue among hundreds. But my opinion is not seen that way because it is written down. The paper is the authority, not the author.

The reason I know this is that my opinion changes fast, but I am held to the past. If I wrote it two or three weeks ago and now have a different opinion, you cannot say that I was telling the truth then and lying now. I have evolved. Where were you? You were lost in thinking that the paper was the authority and not looking at the fact that the newest entry is the most important and the archives are birdcage liner…… writers do not make a habit of looking back. They are too busy creating the next thing.

That is why I disconnect and pretend that no one is reading. If I am completely unaware of the chaos I bring, I can continue to bring it. My ideas matter. My words matter.

The fallacy is thinking that my words mean more than yours.

Because I wrote them down.

 

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