The trip down was a lot longer than the trip up because I was caught in Friday afternoon traffic two different cities. It took an enormous amount of effort to drive down, and so I would have still gone if she had made it clear that she was just interested in friendship and nothing more. I don’t objectify women until they ask me to……
Then, I must say, I do have opinions. One of the things that irritated me so much is that this woman basically told me she would be settling for me because her ex was so pretty. All of my exes have been beautiful in their own way, and all of my friends. I love beautiful people and those come in all packages.
what was different about the entire situation was being able to say That she could be attracted to anyone she wanted, but it was unfair to compare me to her ex. Then she accused me of shaming her for her preferences. I was not shaming her for her preferences. I was shaming her for saying them out loud. Saying that you don’t like the trans/masc look to yourself is fine. Saying it to me? Not so much.
I am never offended if you don’t want to date a trans person. I was big offended by you. You’re not as feminine as she is so therefore you’re not attractive to me. It was the “as she is” that kicked me in the guts
I will also say that I said straight up front that my marriage ended because I fell in love with a straight woman because I needed to know what was up with her. I do not know whether I was offensive or whether they are involved in the straight woman doesn’t know it
I might have some experience in this area at spotting this pattern. If she is anything like me, she will make every excuse in the book not to have to look for anyone else. And I don’t think she’ll make any progress until she does at least admit that she is not looking for someone new. She is looking for someone to be an accessory to that relationship.
And believe me, I’m not trying to paint my feelings as fact, but at the same time I believe my observations are valid. I especially feel that way with the bait and switch. When I said that everyone commented on how well we work together, she said that her friends just want her to see her happy and will set her up with anybody.
I couldn’t get back to Maryland fast enough and what I have learned from this experience is that the Maryland state line is only a few miles from where Aada lives.
So metaphorically speaking, it means a lot to me that when I see her house, turn home. I crossed the Potomac and all of the tension left my body, what was left of it anyway. Nothing that I said about feeling like I fit in was untrue. It was only after this woman got me alone that a problem happened.
I honestly think that she was just jealous and insecure because I know how to work her room and I was the life of the party . This is not bragging on myself and I promise I’m not. It’s that healthy people don’t have a need to cut you down when they feel good about themselves. Healthy people don’t have a need to tell you that you’re not enough.
But the only way I’m ever the life of the party is when I feel comfortable and I actually felt comfortable. It makes me sad that she didn’t feel the same comfort in return, And what I love about this for me is that I didn’t turn around and say well I actually I look great in heels I will not be moved.
The American government can’t even control me. What chance do you think you have? 🙄😂
