Grant has moved out, and I’m getting another roommate soon. I would prefer a man, but at the same time, a woman is also acceptable. Once Nasim got over living next door to a lesbian, she was fine, but it took some convincing. By the time she moved out, I was genuinely sad to see her go, especially because she used to talk loudly to her family and friends in Farsi, which reminded me of Argo (the movie) constantly. I pretended she was the white guy at the end trying to prove to the guards that they indeed were making a movie and explained the story boards. It’s my favorite scene, because he turns out to be the major hero of the movie. If you haven’t read Argo (it’s based on a book by the same name written by the real guy, Tony Mendez), it’s even more full of information that I keep reading over and over because it’s such a creative op. Of course Ben Affleck had to pump up the action to make it an exciting movie, but the real story is no less gripping. Tony is a fantastic writer, and I am sad to know that he is developing Parkinson’s and may not write anything else. So there is only concentrating on Nasim and listening to lilt of her voice, sad because she doesn’t live here anymore.
Eventually we will “get back together,” because I asked Nasim and her best friend Sahar if we could write a book together. I am glad that I am on anti-anxiety medications, because it will keep me from getting rattled when they tell me their story. It is not pretty. Let’s leave it at that. They escaped from Iran. How could it be? There was no film crew for them.
I believe that immigration placed Sahar and Nasim in Albany, and Nasim has moved back. That means we’ll be Skyping and talking on the phone to get the book done, but since we’ve actually met on the ground, that will not be a problem. And Sahar is here, so we’ll be able to Skype together. They have another friend, Leyla, who is also interested in the book, so perhaps she will be in it as well. The possibilities are endless. I am floored that they would trust me with such information, and believe in me to such a degree that I am capable of getting their story right. In fact, it shook me up to the point of tears.
We talked about it right when I moved here, and I felt so broken when Dana said that I would never amount to anything that it was like Nasim invalidated her words right in front of me and I couldn’t help but cry my eyes out. It shook Nasim, but she just held me while I cried. It was one of those moments that you get all the time if you notice them. Even if this book never comes to fruition, that moment healed so much. It was better than a therapy session, because I certainly made a breakthrough.
It took all the pain of feeling worthless after bombing my relationships with Argo (the person) and Dana and turned it into hope for the future. At this point, I am not sure what that future entails, but I at least know what I’ll be doing for side projects. If there’s anything I learned by living in Portland, it’s that you are not defined by what you do for money. Most of the people working at New Seasons (Portland/Vancouver grocery stores) have Master’s degrees and are playwrights, actors, creative types just like me. If you ask them what they do, they’ll tell you who they are, not defined by something as trivial as money.
It’s why I have no fear about working at McDonald’s or a grocery store or Homo Depot or any of those places that seem menial, because I am not defined by my job. I am defined by my ability to make people and stories live forever.
I am getting excited about turning 38. It feels like the right time to have a great year, unencumbered by the past or the future, but taking one step at a time as long as I know it’s in the right direction. So far, I believe I have done very well. When Dana said that she didn’t want to be my wife anymore, I realized there was nothing left for me in Houston and I went back to all the people that loved me in DC.
It killed me that Argo made it all about her, but who could blame her? I was mean to her because I was trying to blow her away to try and save my relationship with Dana, and in a lot of ways, I chose………….. poorly. Dana was going to leave no matter what I did, and if I had been a better friend to Argo, it wouldn’t have become the mess it did when I moved to DC in the first place. I miss being a better friend to her, because I can’t think of anyone more hilarious…. Well, maybe my friend Amy Sco, but she’s 3,000 miles away.
I have to tell you the funniest story EVER about Sco and me. We were laying around on the couch at her place and we saw a local news article about a soldier who’d died in Iraq that was going to have a memorial service at Mall 205. Amy looked at me, completely deadpan, and said, “let us gather in front of the Orange Julius stand, because you know how he would have loved it.” I almost swallowed my tongue I was laughing so hard. Yes, it was evil. But that’s just the way Amy and I roll. She would OWN MY ASS at Cards Against Humanity.
Speaking of which, I have done a lot of things in Cards that would make you look at me like you’d never known I was such a sociopath, but one of the funniest things that happened is that I was playing with my friends and Matt was the judge. I didn’t have anything in my hand that was evil enough, so here’s what I did.
The black card was “here is the church, here is the steeple… Open it up and see…”
I knew that I could play to the judge, so I put down Justin Bieber. I knew I would win when he lost his shit he was laughing so hard.
And that makes me remember just how much I miss his sister, Bryn, and how it would be so cool if I could get her out here, especially on Fourth of July. This year, we had a crab fest at the house in enough time to get downtown, but I didn’t go. I probably should’ve, but crowds are not my thing at all, and I didn’t want to go by myself because crowds aren’t my “host family’s” either. Maybe next year I’ll go with my Meetup group, especially if Leslie is going. She just cracks me up.
I hope I get a roommate like Leslie. It would be good to come home at the end of the day to a roommate in which we really have a connection. I never made a connection with Grant because I was always so mad that I felt like his maid. It also wouldn’t hurt to have one of those roommates that comes in and flops on my bed and says, “what are we watching?”
Because the answer is always going to be “whatever I want. It’s my TV.”
Oh, and just for the record, I’ve found two stations on Spotify that I didn’t even know I needed, but now I use incessently. One is called “Deep Focus” and the other is called “Intense Studying.” Also, I really recommend the Chrome extension Noisli. It has all kinds of noises that you can set in the background, like busy cafe, white snow from a TV, a fan set on high, nature sounds, etc. I know this is seriously off-topic, but when am I known to stay on topic?