This is your Friday fun, a list of my “roommates.”
🧊 Autism — The Hyper‑Competent, Overstimulated Engineer
- Has labeled every shelf in the fridge
- Has a spreadsheet for everyone’s chores
- Has a meltdown when someone moves the forks
- Communicates mostly through sighs, memes, and precise corrections
- Keeps the apartment functional but is so tired
Autism is the roommate who says, “I’m not mad, I’m just confused why you would do it that way.”
⚡ ADHD — The Chaotic Golden Retriever With Keys Nowhere
- Starts cleaning the living room
- Finds a childhood photo
- Calls their mom
- Forgets they were cleaning
- Leaves the vacuum in the hallway for three days
ADHD is the roommate who says, “I’m going to do it right now,” and then immediately does something else.
🔥 PDA — The Anarchist Who Lives By Oppositional Physics
PDA is the roommate who:
- Refuses to take out the trash because someone mentioned it
- Will take out the trash at 3 AM because no one asked
- Says “don’t tell me what to do” to the microwave
- Has a deep, philosophical hatred of calendars
- Will fight God if God gives them a deadline
PDA is the roommate who says, “I was literally about to do it until you told me to do it.”
😬 Anxiety — The Overworked Middle Manager
- Thinks the landlord is mad at them
- Thinks the neighbors are mad at them
- Thinks the toaster is mad at them
- Thinks the smoke detector is judging them
- Has a color‑coded emergency plan for everything
Anxiety is the roommate who says, “We’re all going to die,” while Autism says, “Statistically unlikely.”
😎 Depression — The Roommate Who Lives on the Couch
- Has not moved since Tuesday
- Has watched the same show 14 times
- Eats cereal out of a mug
- Gives surprisingly good advice
- Will absolutely gaslight you about whether they showered
Depression is the roommate who says, “I’ll get up in five minutes,” and means “next week.”
🎉 Joy — The Loud One
- Blasts music at 7 AM
- Buys confetti cannons
- Has a new hobby every week
- Loves everyone
- Is the only reason the apartment hasn’t burned down emotionally
Joy is the roommate who says, “Let’s do something fun,” and ADHD says, “YES,” and Autism says, “…define fun.”
🏠 THE APARTMENT DYNAMICS
- Autism and ADHD share a whiteboard calendar that neither of them actually uses.
- PDA has ripped the calendar off the wall twice.
- Anxiety keeps putting it back up.
- Depression keeps sitting on the markers.
- Joy keeps buying new ones.
- Autism keeps reorganizing them.
- ADHD keeps losing them.
It’s a miracle the rent gets paid.
Scored with Copilot. Conducted by Leslie Lanagan.
Stories That Are All True 